100% not sure if this is the right sub for this.
So, I (23F) have a very, very small friend group consisting of two other people. Those two people are actually dating. Any time the three of us go out, I end up feeling like I’m intruding or that I’m a third wheel.
What I’d like is to be able to do things on my own without feeling awkward. Do stuff where I can potentially make some new friends.
My social skills are kinda lacking due to the fact that since I’ve been out of school, I’ve only hung out with family amd those two friends. I always feel like I’m making a fool of myself when talking to someone new.
Long story short, I want to get better at doing things on my own and also talking to new people
7 comments
Ah, I know exactly how it feel. It’s ok to do stuff alone, just be comfortable with yourself first. You’ll learn a lot by just watching people around you, or at least I do.
I usually wear headphones when I do things like eat or go to the museum by myself. Then if I want to talk to someone I can just take them off and talk. Otherwise, with music playing, you’ll feel less alone
Whenever I see people by themselves dancing at a concert or eating in a restaurant, I assume that they’re cool and confident people, maybe a little aloof. But someone I’d enjoy talking to. I think about that when I’m doing things by myself. I went to see a romantic comedy film by myself the other week and was bawling my eyes out amongst the couples – it was a lovely time.
I went to the gym for the first time by myself today too. I was so nervous beforehand, but once I got settled in it was easy to just exist there and do my thing.
It feels so good to be independent and follow through on activities by yourself. I have to remind myself of this often, otherwise I’d make excuses and never leave my apartment (I moved to a new city and don’t know anyone).
Asking a coworker out to lunch and build from there works sometimes. Or if college/school is an option, there is definitely the possibility to make connections their while earning a degree.
I started going to concerts and coffee shops by myself first, then I did a solo trip to Oregon, and later on and a couple other states. I’d have headphones in most of the time, but found it was easy to have short friendly socializing with strangers when I was interactive
I LOVE doing things alone because I don’t need to wait for ppl to get ready/to leave together. I can make all the decisions whatever I want them to be. There are certain things in life that’s more enjoyable doing with other ppl, but mostly I enjoy the solo activities.
Find a mission. Like pick up a sport or a hobby you dig. Then meet others with the same interests, and its not just about socialising anymore, its just being busy with what you like.
Expect to meet friends when you do what you like. Except if its sitting on your couch at home.