I am a 16 year old girl, and I have wayy to high standards when it comes to friends.
I’ve always had a very no-bullshit attitude, and I’m very honest. I hate fakeness and sneaky backstabbing, even when it’s not directed at me. Sounds good, but it really isn’t. Being a teenage girl, you have to live with the fact that all your friends are very fake, very shitty people, so just finding good and loyal friends isn’t an option.
Whenever I find out a friend is a fake person, to anyone, the friendship fails. Loyalty is the number one most important quality a friend can have in my opinion, but no one has it. And when they don’t, I automatically start disliking them, even when I try not to. I’m also seriously bad at pretending to like someone I don’t, which is why the friendship always fails.
So, how to be more fake myself? How do I learn how to pretend to like someone, when I don’t? How do I nurture a friendship with a fake friend? I can always do it for very short periods of time, but I always crack. How do I just stay fake for months? Year’s even. I need to learn this to not become friendless.
6 comments
So it might be worth noting that autistic people exist and from what many studies have indicated they struggle with being inauthentic which is exactly the thing you want. ADHD has been shown to result in people disclosing too much information which would also result in them not being fake because chances are they are accustomed to being there own person as a survival mechanism basically this is a pattern you will see with most if not all neurodiverse people and the being fake is a pattern you will see with most if not all neurotypical people.
Based entirely on the above paragraph it sounds like you haven’t met enough neurodiverse people to believe people exist that innately avoid the issue your experiencing.
Not sure since I have a big lack of friends and also have trust issues.
I think it is important to understand what the word loyal and real means to you and how you might or might not be displaying these too. Because just dropping one friend when you found out something about them when it could be the beginning of them trying to show more of their real self to you could come across as disloyal too
Eh seems to me your issue is really just your view of people. First of all the snobby attitude and believing everyone around you is fake is not going to attract yourself any friends.
Well, I think number one what this all comes down to is your mindset. It sounds like you dislike most people at this age and you may have to become comfortable spending more time with yourself. I don’t think telling you how to be fake is fair, and you said yourself you’re not good at being in-authentic. When I was your age, I found genuine friendships w ppl, which eventually died out. You may be around the wrong crowd, or you just see deeper into friendships that I didn’t see. I think there’s a few practices you can use that may help you view someone differently. You have to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and see things from their perspective. To you their behavior might come off as fake, but to them maybe they didn’t realize how important something was to you. If you don’t think that advise helped you, we’ll then either you need new friends or you gotta start enjoying your own company.
When everyone else is the problem, you might be the real problem