Low libido after getting married

11 comments

1. First, male or female? The strategy is different and I know the male side better.

   For males, there’s a desensitization reflex. The more we have sex with one partner, the longer and longer it will take to actually orgasm. This has the tendency to reduce libido in a closed relationship. You can try different types of porn and a deprivation model to raise your sensitivity to her again. Studies have shown that when couples are apart for a time that the males’ sperm count increases quite a bit when they merely ‘expect’ to get back together for a roll in the hay.

   The best I can figure from women is that they have a similar reflex, but applied in a different direction. I’m not sure exactly how to counteract it because I’m not female myself, but this should point you in a good erection, err I mean direction. I couldn’t resist the joke

2. Age and gender makes the responses vary. But generally, weddings are a hard transition where focus on the event and a “turning point” of life comes and goes. Unfortunately many people (including my own marriage) are unprepared to accept that life needs to continue with the same vigor and attention that went into preparation for the wedding. Married now 30 years, we’ve recreated our relationship significantly probably 5-6 times. I liken it to tending a garden…daily work, repeating seasons, some unexpected turns and a slow evolving of what works now and a pruning of what doesn’t.

3. Male or female matters here. But a lot of people experience this once the access to sex is consistent. The thrill of the “hunt” and the excitement not being there any more. It can change the mentality. You also have to consider what else has changed after marriage. Did you move in together or were you already cohabitating. Did jobs or stress levels change? Are you actively trying for kids? Are you feeling like the share of domestic workload is unbalanced? Is the emotional connection suffering too or just sex?

4. Well, you got married.

5. The thrill of the hunt people say. It can be recreated with some effort with your wife. It just involves some creativity and playfulness.

6. What did you expect? It’s downhill from here

7. Ino it’s not because of marrige but because you moved in together.

   I’vee together with my so 6 years (married 0,5 years). When she moved in with me after a few months I noticed that I wasnt as horny anymore. The reason is because we saw each other all the time and slept in the same bed every day and got used to it. Before that she was visiting every 2 weeks and it was lit because I missed her touch.

   You can always spice things up if you want.

8. It’s happened the same thing , with my wife after marriage before she was the one who ask me everytime to do it control it but now i need to take a schedule to have sex with her for example im asking her for sex bcuz ifeel like i wanna do it by touching kissing saying sexy stuff but she ask me to wait until tomorrow or the weed end actually i start watching porn recently because i feel like i need to do it more than before and become so horny i spoke about this with her multiple times she told there’s nothing about my way banging or she still love it even having more that 2 orgasms i filfill her need always but mine are not considered at all :(( anything i can do to about this .?

9. Mate welcome to long term relationships/marriage. Sex doesn’t matter as much and actually it’s not the end of the world. My partner (F31) and I (M36) have 2 kids and our sex life never been the same. As you get older sex becomes less important.

10. Get your blood work checked. Specifically your testosterone. Are you overweight? Inactive? Drinker?

    My testosterone was bottomed out in my 30s from all the above. Turning 40 in a couple of weeks and my numbers continue to be low unless I’m on TRT (testosterone replacement therapy).

11. You should contact a doctor about your low libido.