To give some background, I’m 29M, but look and feel younger. I started attending dance classes like 2,5 month ago. I’m not gonna lie to you – it was a move made partially with getting to know sb in mind. But after few weeks I fell in love with the process (of dancing), started attending classes 3-4 days a week and stopped caring about people there (not in a negative way). The mere ritual of going there and dancing was enough to give me fun and fulfillment, so after a month I really stopped to actively look for a potential partner there, just tried to enjoy the ride. I mean, during this time I interacted with hundreds of girls, many of which I perceived pretty, but decided to not act on it until somebody really catch my eye, so that not to get a label of creeper at that place.
But like a month ago I met this cute girl in one of the classes (there a lot of groups, so you can be regular and still meet new people every day) and I liked her to such an extend that I’d like to ask her out. The problem is, during a 2h class there is a rule of changing partners every ca. 2 minutes, so giving there’s usually 20 girls out there, I get only like 5 minutes of in-person contact with her a week, during which we also need to listen to and follow the instructor, so the whole convo boils down to “how was your day” at best. I don’t want to get into stalker mode and hunt her before/after classes, bc I’ve already been through it in the past and it never ended well. So there are two options. The first is to approach her during the pause which lasts 5-7 min, but she also uses this time to buy a pass/check her phone/change shoes, so it’s not that she sits and waits on me approaching. The second option are the practice sessions that last another 1h after classes and we’re free to dance with anybody then. The problem is, she usually has some other guys around and I rarely see her by herself. There are usually one or two guys (different ones, that’s why I believe she’s single), who accompany her during the pauses and practice sessions.
As you may assume, the best bet would be to approach her during this practice sessions to give myself a chance to somehow interact with her, but the thing is, she is quite a good dancer and I, as a beginner, feel very insecure about it. That’s why I tend to be a bit awkward when I dance with her. I was wondering If it would be a good idea to practice some more before approaching her. But on the other hand, I know from experience, it only makes sense to ask our crush straight away, because there’s a chance she doesn’t feel the same way about me and I’m only wasting my time thinking about her.
What would you suggest?
PS
I can write some more about her in the comments, but my post was already long, so I didn’t want to bore you.
2 comments
How much interaction with her have you realistically had? Do you know her name, what she does for work, anything?
I’ve done various forms of partner dancing since I was a teenager. some observations:
1. If it’s a class where the more advanced people stick together and just dance with each other in the social, I’d leave off until you’re at least not a beginner. I don’t want to make your insecurity worse but dancing with beginner leaders for anything more complicated than like merengue is legit hard work.
2. If it’s a class where everyone dances with everyone in the social, then that’s a part of the culture of that class and you’re fine to ask her to dance and have a chat while you dance, which should help you work out if there’s an actual spark there.
3. That said: in my experience, women who always just so happen to only turn up to the class with at least one guy in tow are doing it on purpose because we get hassled less that way. Like, when my dad was still dancing there were quite a few women who would just not go to an event if they couldn’t come with my parents so that dad could be a buffer for them. (He didn’t mind, and mum thought it was hilarious.) I’m not saying that’s definitely the case here, but I’d be leaving something important out if I didn’t mention it.