I’ve known this guy 4 years as a customer. We flirted constantly.Finally he Gave me his number last year, we text almost everyday, very casual, just had sex this year and still very friendly. Sex is better each time because we both get a little more comfortable. I really want to try (beginners)something a little more daring and all that fun stuff ( 50 shades stuff) But it requires a lot of trust. Since it’s casual I don’t know how to ask. Honestly I trust him physically but I want to emotionally trust him. Is this something a conversation can help with or not. And if so what can I possibly say besides “ I want to try ____” and I need to trust you in this way. For me it’s a big turn on if I can emotionally trust someone in that way.
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Trust is something you always work to build. Even is a casual thing. Talk to him and tell him you have a fantasy you want to try,would you be willing to listen and tell me what you think. Then have a safe word conversation before you get into it.
Safe word recommendation: 3 things
1, the word “yellow – means don’t stop but do not intensify the experience because you are close to limit
2, the word” red” – means stop but not over, check in on me and wait till I give guidance and/or say we can start again
3, gesture, tap out method (like ufc fighting) – means stop but not over, check in on me and wait till I give guidance and/or say we can start again.
I recommend the 3rd one because some people (my partner included) lose the ability to speak when close to orgasm.
BTW, having the safe word conversion is also a trust exercise. If he listens and agrees thank point on trust. If you use the safe words and he stops, plus on trust. If he does not listen, minus a million points and don’t talk to him again.