So me n my bf have been dating over an year now. We’ve had 9 times in total. We’re also planing to get engaged by the end of this year. He’s such a sweetheart. I absolutely love him. He treats me so well. But I think my libido is a bit higher than his. He’s 29 n I’m 26. I was a virgin until we had sex.
Idk the sex isn’t great. I have never cum during penetration (it’s always with condoms) and I want to kinda try it raw but he’s afraid. Past few months he’s not even putting an effort to kiss me. It’s been so long since we had sex. Yesterday I confronted n he said sorry I’ve been on the down lately. And that’s it. I don’t know what to take out of it. Please advice me on this. How do I improve this?
12 comments
Honestly, please figure this out before marriage. Sexual life is huge especially in marriage and it’s not your fault you have a higher sex drive then him. I would say communication is key because this is something that you will have to be live with and you should be able to have sex and him putting in the effort 100%.
Gotta talk to him about how you feel and express how you feel sex is a form of connection for you and that you want to improve the connection with him because you “love him”. If you haven’t said those 3 words yet…then that’s probably not a good sign.
Also women RARELY cum from penetration alone it at all so that’s not unusual. Does he stimulate your clit or help facilitate your orgasm? Maybe he should go down on you as I believe every woman should have their partner do that, though it’s only my opinion as that’s what gets my wife off.
Either way a conversation with honest yet non confrontational feedback would go a long way to help
Ouch I am sorry. Yeah as Surferdudee said . This is something you need to figure out before you get married. Libido missmatch is one the big big reasons people go cheat and marriages fail. At the very least both of you need to have super wide open communications about this.
If not ill be reading your posts of frustration and wanting to end it a few years form now in r/deadbedroom or /r/HLCommunity .
Talk to him directly about your sex life and how you can improve it.
Make it clear to him that you’re not getting engaged while you have a dysfunctional sex life.
Don’t get married if your sex life already doesn’t work after a few months.
Most women can’t orgasm from piv sex alone, extra clit stimulation works for some or oral sex.
Figure this out before getting married
As a person that has been on a dead bedroom off and on for 20 years.
*DO NOT MARRY HIM!*
r/deadbedrooms and r/hlcommunity ate subs you should read and understand how bad it can get in a dead bedroom.
Until you reconcile your differences in sex and see a counselor; absolutely do not marry him.
You will thank me for this advice when you get older. I wish someone had pointed the red flags to me sooner.
I Think maybe you’re being thrown by having expected sex to be different to what it is in reality, it is quite overhyped in the mainstream
I Think if you ended it over this you’ll even up disappointed and regretful when all you other relationships are the same and you threw this one away for nothing
You should’t marry him until you haven’t cleared this up. Sex is a really important part of a functioning relationship.
Maybe he has some trauma from the past that hinders him from getting into the mood for sex more often, maybe he’s depressed or stressed out. Maybe his sexdrive just is that low. You two should just sit down and talk about this problem openly.
He might be looking at porn all the time.
Visit the dead bedroom subreddit.
Most women don’t cum from penetration.
Don’t get married because chances are that sex will be even less frequent. You’ve only ever had one partner, a lousy one from what you’ve shared. Is that what you want for the rest of your life? Good luck!