I don’t even know if this is the right sub, if not redirect me. I feel like I’ve (19F) gotten to an unhealthy point where all I think about is sex. Constantly. I’m too afraid to do the real thing so I just daydream and play with myself constantly and watch stuff. This wouldn’t be as bad if I didn’t feel so desensitized. What makes it WORSE is that I hate the stuff I watch to get off. Now it’s hard for me to have any meaningful finish, let alone with a partner. I can’t even finish without a vibrator on my clit. I’ve only gone a day without and I feel terrible already. This would at least be easier if I had a partner, but people are hard to trust and I doubt I’ll get one anytime soon because those things take time. I just basically don’t know what to do and if this is even worth it? Like will I regain my sensitivity and be able to stop consuming such horrible content? I just want to get off easily and watch ethical stuff. I’ve never even been able to use my imagination. THAT would be a dream. I’m just asking for advice and if anyone has gone through anything similar. Thanks.
6 comments
Take a break from it and dont touch yourself for a long time. Then once you do it again it will be different 🙂 that’s what I do haha
You’re human. You’re normal. Unless you’re on the very dark hidden corners of the internet, the stuff you’re watching is planned and scripted consensual acts between adults. Try not to hate yourself. There is nothing wrong with you.
Been dealing with the same issue for years, although I’m a guy. I’m super desensitized (physically and mentally) due to porn. It’s difficult, but not impossible, for me to finish during actual intercourse.
Recently I abstained for a week from masturbating (temporary living situation didn’t leave me a choice), when we returned to the normal living situation, I had sex with my SO and finished within literally minutes. That was fucking incredible for me because I’m used to at least 30+ minutes and needing to finish myself off.
So long story short, yeah abstaining from porn and masturbation should help you achieve orgasm more easily once you decide to masturbate. Only caveat being I’m speaking from experience as a male.
Been where you are many times (winters are the worst for me, or the best depending on how you view it) . I have an insane libido (could have sex 3 times a day if it did not destroy my life).
I have found being active helps detract things. Going to the gym, picking out door hobbies, meet up with friends and not being home alone.
Direct this energy elsewhere, you will continue to think dirty thoughts but that is ok,enjoy them in their moments but do not let them control you.
You are going to feel worse denying yourself. This is fine.
Head out and meet with people. Try talking to guys. Do other things.
Attempt to do it without porn but the vibrator and masturbation is healthy. Eventually you will find a man who will keep up with you.
Honestly I’ve been there, and speaking from a guys perspective. You really described how I felt. Just wanting to have sex and constantly thinking about it. I used to be so addicted to porn back when I was younger.
I recommend you focus more on hobbies to help distract you if you’re alone. That and a decent day job helps too. Focusing on work and personal interests can do wonders.
I will say though finding my sexuality and experiencing love making really helped redirect my point of view, too. I only want to orgasm when I’m with my wife now. Don’t get me wrong, ever so often I will watch something and pleasure myself, but that is far and few in between getting physical with my wife. Plus masterbation doesn’t even come close.
Finding hobbies and spending time with friends will open up doors for you to meet someone to get to know on a personal level. When you talk to someone, and start to get physical with them. You will find that your interests will be in the person instead of a delusion of sexual fantasy.