I find that when I am in straight relationships I constantly have stages where I begin to question my sexuality. This happened in my last relationship, I lost feelings for my bf and the idea of me being “lesbian” popped up in my head and I began to obsess if whether or not I was lesbian. I have a lot of love for my boyfriend and I do not want to leave him, but these feelings are so overwhelming and I hate having to feel this way in a striaght relationship. I get so overwhelmed with these feelings that I begin to think that I am lesbian. I stress this usually before my period, and then the feelings leave right after my cycle is complete. I don’t know what to do anymore ): could this be anxiety? Or could I actually be lesbian?
2 comments
If you want to have sex with women, you might be bisexual or lesbian. Or You might just like the idea of being with a woman but have no interest in following through, since fantasy life can be different from what people enjoy in person.
IMHO, this sounds like anxiety because it sounds like you are spiraling and uncomfortable. Like you fear your own thoughts, so instead of sitting with them and mulling it over, you are chewing your own fur to distract yourself.
The hint about anxiety, is that it is sooo much scarier when you can’t see the monster… in this case the “monster” is the worst thing that could happen.
Ask yourself, “so what?”. Follow the trail of dominoes from fear-to-fear and you’ll get down to the nugget that is fueling things.
“What if I’m a lesbian? I could eventually break up with my current partner? If I leave them I might break their heart? If I break their heart I might never find another love? I might die alone?”
Follow every absurd leap down, and you’ll find your fear has a limit. It extends to a point and then stops, it doesn’t swallow up all of humanity.
Then you can logic check your feelings. Even if you and your current partner eventually break up… after some pain, in all likelihood, you would both find love again. Like you’d recover, people survive breakups all the time.
Talk to your doctor, if you have intrusive thoughts that bother you, there is medication that can help. It’s more common than you realize.
If you were a lesbian, it’s actually not a big deal either. Just let yourself “try on” the idea for a few days without telling other people or making huge changes to your life. See if it feels more comfortable or you just start fretting about something else like moving-goalposts.
I’m going to be honest here,
You’re probably not straight OP. ***And there’s nothing wrong with that.***
Right now you’re possibly at the stage of denial and rejection, but the sooner you try to seek out how you truly feel from the inside, the better it may make you feel.