The other day I was showering, and in walks my wife. This isn’t common at all. I just figured that she had to pee really badly. Nope. She strips and says “this isn’t an invitation for sex (she’s pregnant and hasn’t been in the mood at all lately) I just need to shower and don’t want to wait, make room”.
Its been at least three years since we showered together and it was never a frequent thing. She comes in, and does her thing. I ask her if I can wash her back and she says of course, so I do, massaging a bit. She washes off and is about to finish up.. We kiss lightly, under the water,, and hug for a moment, then she goes out. Idk why, but it felt so loving and special to share that intimacy outside of sex, maybe I’m just weird lol.
41 comments
There are many things that I think entail way more intimacy than having sex, this is not weird at all.
Thats sounds so cute
This is so beautiful! Thank you for sharing!
I wish there was more of this
When i do this with my bf it’s truly one of the most amazing feelings in the world. If you can’t have intimacy or connect in other ways besides sex then you’re doing it wrong
This happens all the time in my relationship, then again we also have a good sex life. Plus shower sex sucks.
so wholesome i love it
My husband and I have sex frequently lol but yes I love the non sex moments, for instance I love when he is driving and he reaches over and rubs my neck, or when he plays with my hair as we snuggling in bed almost asleep. It’s the little moments that are amazing ❤️
Only matters that you are both happy! I would have not been happy with the “this isn’t an invitation for sex I just need to shower and don’t want to wait, make room” comment..but we don’t know context or inflection..:)
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These parts of relationships are some of the best parts of being in relationships. 💖
You aren’t weird at all.
I love all the intimate moments my partner and I share together that don’t involve sex! They are v special moments
Those kind of moments are my favorite.
Sex is only a small part of intimacy
Intimacy should be a part of most interactions with your so
That kinda stuff is so rare these days its definitely more appreciated than sex imo
Honestly the non-verbal intimacy does way more positive things for my head and heart than fantastic sex ever will.
That intimacy encourages, strengthens and stabilizes a relationship more than anything else in my experience.
I would give up sex for the rest of my life if I could have cuddles instead.
Intimacy outside of sex is my favorite. Don’t get me wrong, I love sex. But the intimacy outside of sex is the icing and cherry on top.
Try to do more of it with your wife now before the baby comes and things get hectic. You’ll both love it 💕💕
Awesome. But also loving the fantastic communication.
It’s all the intimacy, love, laughter and tears outside sex that makes our sex life so good. I guess it bonds a couple more and more. My husband is always giving me compliments and telling me he loves me (and vice versa). It’s trust that builds so then sex can be more open and vulnerable.
Short answer is yes I definitely do.
Long answer is more nuanced. I have a high sex drive but I also love sex in most forms, there are just so many intense and wonderful feelings to enjoy there and fun to be had. Because of this the whole concept of “intimacy without sex” always seems to come from a place of not really appreciating sex or making it into something lesser than. Thing is sex is so much more than PIV also so what you put on the term “having sex” can really vary.
Showering together for example, and even more if you each wash the others body is one of the sexiest things I can imagine but not necessarily in a “I want to jump your bones right this moment” way even though it’s not excluded. It’s just such a physically intimate moment and I just enjoy the whole thing, it’s a trust between partners in a different way and it’s beautiful to me.
I think one way to explain it would be that I really do appreciate intimacy whether it directly leads to sex or not.
That sounds so romantic and a very precious time between y’all I am a very young 70 yo female and to me both intimacy, such as you described, as well as sex are important. I can emotionally survive on intimacy and being celibate, and did for 17 years before my honey passed away 4 years ago after we had been together for 30 years. I have a very strong sex drive but when because of the medical reasons our sex life moves into the DB category. When that happened I had a choice to make. I could have cheated but refused to even consider it, taken care of my needs myself which would have devastated his self esteem and I could not do either option one or two so the only other option was to lock my sex drive away and stay celibate which is why I chose to do. Now if he had not been ill we would have needed to talk, as even though I am 70, making love i and was a very important part of my life. I don’t regret the 17 and would not have traded the additional time I had with him for anything. We loved each other and were faithful to each other till he passed. It took me almost 3 years to recover from the grief and find myself again before I’m even considered dating. So I guess the answer to your question would be yes a relationship can make it if there’s a lot of love, patience and understanding involved as well as communication. I can only respond based on my personal experience over the years so I hope that my response helped a little. Have a great week.
This is something I couldn’t do with my ex-gf because she didn’t like intimacy. So I broke up with her, be grateful you can do such a small, but significant loving thing.
this happens near constantly between my partner and i! we often take more showers together than not, and frequently will just cuddle with each other, or give one another non-sexual massages. it is very intimate and one of my favourite things about our relationship. we’ll often also touch each other with no intention for sex; we just adore the other and want to feel close to them.
This is beautiful. See if you can make it a more regular occurrence. Ask if you can wash her hair etc: showering together is so lovely 💗
This is very very sweet and loving, not weird at all. I think we’re trained to see sex as the default or essential expression of intimacy/affection, but what really matters is how a interaction is understood by the people sharing it. Nonsexual intimacy can also be less stressful/involve less pressure. It can feel more authentic and unmotivated imho
i think its called being in a loving relationship
Of course. That sounds like a lovely interlude, and I encourage you to make little moments like that while you are both sleep deprived and exhausted with a new baby.
I love that. Or taking a bath with my fiancé or just hugs. We hug a lot and sometimes I love it more than sex !
It’s small things like that that can mean so much more.
Wholesome. A nice little anecdote make me start the day with a warm & fuzzy feeling. Kudos.
You’re not weird at all, it’s just so nice to hug, cuddle, kiss your partner in a non sexual way, it gives you inner peace, comfort, joy, you feel safe.
I love sex, but the best sleep I’ve ever had is next to my gf, naked just the two of us, feeling each other’s warm.
That sounds intimate for sure.
I’ll warn you though… NEVER, EVER fart in the shower with someone else. For whatever reason, the smell is magnified by about a trillion.
Oh wow … I just remembered you said she’s pregnant too. Good chance she’d passed out… and the baby will come out looking like cyclops.
You’ve been warned.
Intimacy isn’t always about sex. It’s a little almost that count even if you just having a conversation with your significant other.
Fully clothed lower back rubs and spontaneous foot rubs will go a long way to keep intimate contact without sex too. Just don’t expect reciprocation.
Awwww this is beautiful. This made me smile. Now I can go to sleep with a nice awww 😅
i don’t want to sound rude but is this a serious question lol. “maybe i’m just weird” no you’re a human being?
I love showering together, I think it’s the most intimate thing to do besides having sex. Sometimes, you can combine both and then it’s just perfect.
I often find that what I’m craving most of the time is that gentle intimacy rather than sex. American culture just conflates the two so much that getting one need met makes the other one pop up.
No, you aren’t weird at all! Amethyst and I shower together on a regular basis, but even more intimate we love to cuddle in bed, especially in the mornings. She loves when I wake her up by spooning her, one hand on her belly and the other stroking her hair while gently saying her name, not a care in the world under our blankets
-Mr. Fox
When my boyfriend and I are having our many long and lovely conversations (we are both enthusiastically chatty cathys!), every once in a while he’ll reach over and put his hand on my cheek. I absolutely adore it, I feel so connected to him.
One time we lay in bed and he read to me for an hour. It was one of those moments I had fantasized about my entire adult life, being curled up in his arm and him looking over at me to punctuate those key moments in the book… and when it happened I fell in love with him all over again.
Oh! And those times where he’s tired, and he just sighs and lays his head on me, or drapes his feet in my lap. I ADORE IT. I Want those moments to never end.
Intimacy without sex is an amazing thing! I love it. My boyfriend is so intimate with me without sex and it’s one of my favorite parts of our relationship. He recently lost his father and I was with him the whole time, and when we got home from the hospital, we took a shower. He started to wash his hair and I grabbed the soap from him and put it in his hair and scrubbed it for him. He just closed his eyes and his body relaxed, he let me rinse it and just massage his hair and hold him. It was the most intimate I’ve ever been with another person. A very touching and powerful, but simple, moment with him that I think about a lot.