Me [27F] and the guy [27M] in question have been dating for 4 months, but we’ve know each other for 8 years. We were previously officially in a relationship 7 years ago for a year but broke up due to long distance – we were young and didn’t have the money to keep seeing one another. We’ve stayed in contact ever since and are still long distance, but we decided to give it another go now we’re older, have more time and money and we still had feelings for each other.
This time around, he was was the first one to say ‘I love you’ and texts me it every night, ends every phone call with it and will tell me he loves me several times when we’re together in person. He’s lovely to me and acts exactly like a boyfriend.
However – he hasn’t asked me to be his girlfriend. He knows that’s what I want, but hasn’t asked as there ‘hasn’t been a right moment’ to, even though there’s actually been plenty and that we ‘basically are together and he’s not interested in anyone else’. I don’t really understand what it is that he’s waiting for, it’s not like we need to get to know each other better and he’s literally told me he loves me. I worry that he’s not put a label on it because then it excuses him to do things single men would and if we’re going to make long distance work, I can’t be thinking like that.
Anyone have any advice?
TL;DR: Guy I’ve been dating for 4 months, that I previously dated 7 years ago for a year but broke up due to long distance, has said I love you but won’t make me his girlfriend again.
4 comments
At the end of the day it’s on his time not yours. You don’t know what he’s getting prepared for so stop forcing something and mess up a good thing because your too deep into your feelings. If it’s gravy then ride the train happily. Cuz out here, a mfer like me just gonna fuck u leave and never talk to you again. So u better appreciate what u got
4 months is not that long, but if it bothers you bring it up directly! Or take initiative and ask him to be official.
please just don’t do nothing because it will feed the feelings of mistrust you already seem to have…
Don’t do girlfriend shit for a man who won’t make you his girlfriend.
Eh…I wouldn’t put up with it. Sounds like you want different things. He wants all the girlfriend perks without having to actually cash the check. He doesn’t want to take on the responsibility of being your boyfriend. That would be a dealbreaker for me 🤷🏻♀️