We’re really close friends, and started to get closer sexually as well in the past month. We constantly hugging each other, kissing, and last time she sucked my dick and I fingered her. I’ve never had a relationship before, and I’ve never been in love, but I’d like is so bad if I could fall in love with her, because she’s the coolest person I know, but I’m not feeling in love, even though I’m attracted to her very very much as well.
I’m thinking if maybe having sex with her will change it, it’d be my first time, and I’d like to have sex with her. Does sex switch something in your brain?
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It can. But you can’t force yourself to love someone.
The most solid form of romantic and sexual relationship is one where you are friends on a platonic level first, ime. Theres this weird pop culture myth (friendzone is part of this general concept) that the different types of relstio ships all have super hard boundaries and cant overlap, its weird as hell and based on nothing.
Be open to it but dont push it.
Give it time. The ingredients are there. Let them simmer.
Falling in love does not just switch on in your brain after sex. It grows as you spend time with your partner. Yes you have been friends for some time but not viewing her as a partner. Just go with the flow and enjoy your time together.
Sometimes I think people can have a misguided idea of what “love” is supposed to feel like.
If you are attracted to someone, want to be with them constantly and can’t wait to see them when you are away from each other, is that not love?
For me (M65) it’s a chicken and egg situation. I was in a purely sexual relationship once but felt no chemistry with her so ended it pretty early. In a way it was a shame because the sex was fantastic, her libido was off the charts and she was very uninhibited, all major positives for me. But without that intimate connection it just feels hollow for me. The lack of intimacy completely overwhelmed the tremendous sex.
On the other hand with my other partners as I got to know them and build that intimacy the sex supercharged the intimacy and I fell in love.
It can but not for everyone. I’m someone mostly incapable of proper love. I’d try going out with her. I mean your at least attracted to her and you get along so you’ve got more then a lot of marriages these days.
Atleast in my experience: initial friendship & care + getting balls drained over and over = catching them feelings
Do you care about her and her feelings more than you care about your own?
I think that’s how you can tell if it’s love
Absolutely! You’ve got a great foundation built
My husband and I were best friends for four years before we started dating. We both crushed on each other on and off but I also moved 1/2 a country away after the first year. Thank God it was the advent of online chat rooms! We kept in contact we were each other’s person for years long distance. After high school we decided to try at a relationship. It’s been 17.5 years so I think we’ve got it down!
I married my best friend 24 years ago. We did everything you are starting out doing right now. Nothing I want more is to be with her forever – that is love. It isn’t instantaneous.