So I (23M) and my friend (22F) fell in love.
We have known each other for 7 years but only met 2 times, our relationship is online. She is engaged to a good man (24M) for a year now and they have been together for 3 years. What needs to be said is, we actually fell in love 7 years prior but it didn’t work out and stayed friends on and off up till now. Recently we had a hours long conversation at night and expressed our feelings once again. She told me she really doesn’t have that deep of a connection with her fiance and it will never change. She also told me she loves me and always will and with her fiance its just not the same feeling. The next few days we spent in absolutely devastating love, we couldn’t do much of our daily routine besides just lying and being in love, something we’ve never experienced before.
Few days ago she told him all of that and his heart got destroyed. They were about to move back together (they got separated for finance reasons) and build a home. They’re still texting but they’re not together. It could change. They’ll either get back together or stop texting because after telling him all of this she became very conflicted and unsure of feelings towards me and him.
I kinda knew it could happen. Given that her and her fiance doesnt text that much and our past. Also what should I do now? I want to be with her and I dont think that they will ever achieve what we could achieve. Since all the blow up we dont text that much and also she seems to deny everything that was said prior to her breakup. She says she may only love the internet side of me and not the real one. I don’t know what to do or what to think. Should I wait more? Should we take a break? What is really happening?
TL;DR I and my friend fell in love. She broke up her relationship of 3 years (1 year engaged) And now she doesn’t feel anything. It happened few days ago. Should I wait more? Should we take a break? What is really happening?
2 comments
I think you need to let her go. You’ve only met twice, there’s a very good chance she’s using you as a form of escapism but it’s not real love. Even if it is genuine, what’s the plan? Is she going to move to you? You move to her? She can’t even commit to saying she really meant it, so why would either of you uproot your lives over it?
She thought the grass was greener on the other side, and then found out it wasn’t. This is actually super common: you were a distraction she used as motivation to get out of a relationship that was no longer working for her, and now that you’ve served your purpose her feelings are gone. Instead of chasing her around and trying to twist her words to mean that she’s somehow repressing her feelings for you, you should sit down and think about whether a relationship with someone who’s betrayed and discarded someone else for you is what you truly want in life. Chances are that even if you had ended up together after all this, you would have lost her to the next new exciting prospect.