So my friends husband doesn’t like me, due to me commenting on some of his past behaviour from 6 years ago. However I see him in social situations a lot, and I find myself trying to overcompensate to be ‘liked’. Last year I offered him and my friend to stay in my house whilst I was away on holiday as I live in a tourist destination. He complained (not to my face) that I’d left a couple of small breakable objects in reach of the children…I mean I’m sorry, I’ve literally let you borrow my house for free (only asked for £5 towards bills) wasn’t aware that you expected the full House vallet for the price.
Second event was recently we were at a party and I tried to initiate bits of conversation but they were very one-sided. He hadn’t been drinking and said he had to walk home to look after his kids and take over from the babysitter and I offered my car. There is no mention of that’s a kind offer or thank you. Just a ‘it’s literally 10 minutes down the road it’s fine’.
How on earth do I get out of this cycle of trying to people please and be too accommodating to someone. A few side notes to help
– He is notoriously very complainy about people and is very pessimistic if someone does something to inconvenience him slightly he will end up kicking off
– he has said before he’s not really that interested in having friends and have said before if if anyone he knew died it wouldn’t really affect him unless it was his wife or kids.
– he is very unwelcoming when you come to his house, kind of like he almost can’t wait to have you out the door and that you’re inconveniencing him by just being there
Tldr: friend’s husband who is also very pessimistic and opinionated about people doesn’t like me so how can I stop overcompensating my behaviour to people please.