Sharing my hubby question

6 comments

1. This sounds like a very painful way to end a 25 year marriage and a friendship.

2. There’s a saying in the swinging world: Make friends out of swingers, not swingers out of friends.

   Trying to have sex with friends increases the risk of drama. And if shit goes wrong, you lose a friend. So best to just leave friends out of it, and keep them as friends.

3. So you’ve decided now to not care about the religious aspect?

4. It can, but it can also destroy your relationship. I caution using a friend to satisfy a fantasy. If anything goes wrong, you destroy two relationships.

   Now, looking at your post history, you both are very open. That being said, fantasizing about sharing a spouse and actually seeing it in person are two different things. If you haven’t had experience I suggest trying a different approach.

   I usual suggest a couple find a swingers club to visit. Now why? There are numerous reasons.

   1) There is no pressure to participate if you feel uncomfortable. No always means no.

   2) Everyone knows why they are there. You run less risk of emotions becoming involved.

   3) On site security. If anything goes south, you have club staff to assist. If you bring someone into your home, you might end up in an uncomfortable situation.

   4) You can go as far as you want. You can work up in stages to a full swap depending on how you each feel.

   5) You can both observe each other interacting with others before anything happens. That means you can immediately stop and not feel pressured to continue.

   6) There are group rooms you can observe in and private rooms if you find an individual or couple you can experiment privately.

   7) You can have your choice of partners. Trying to locate an acceptable match can be hit or miss. You can get alot of no shows, or people who cancel at the last minute. In the clubs you usual have very active couples who are there for the same reasons. Basically you have more options available with little to no waiting.

   8) Clubs are a good place to network and meet like minded people. It can lead to invited to selected private meetings, or parties or some long term friendships.

   I can keep listing but you get the point. First you two need to have a discussion and discuss any perceived or expected boundaries. Discuss any issue that might become a problem. Discuss various scenarios, fetishes, kinks you might want to try or are completely against. This will reduce the possibility of a misunderstanding happening.

   Then, experiment away.

5. Ask yourself what you have done the last 25 years to be happy and satisfied with your sex life. It wasn’t involving another person.
   If you want to try a threesome or pitching this to your husband are you really doing this so you can pitch to him that you want to try someone else instead of him. Like hey you got to have someone else I want a try. Open relationships do not usually have a good ending for the marriage. Proceed with caution.

6. If you’re into it then absolutely! Desire should be embraced. Lay down boundaries between the three of you for what is and is not acceptable during and after, communicate a lot and have fun!