How long did it take you to find the ONE via OLD?

48 comments

1. I don’t believe in “the one,” but found my long-term significant other after 4 months on OLD; similar timeline for him (on and off for both of us). I was 35 and he was 37.

2. I was on OLD on and off from 2008 until July last year. My fella (whom I met on Bumble) and I got engaged recently. I’m 37.

3. I’ve been “seriously looking” for like a year I suppose. I’ve lost count of how many dates I’ve had (maybe 10-15?) since then…I met someone I really liked 5 months ago, it didn’t work out and left me pretty devastated, but I forced myself to keep meeting people anyway since the whole thing imploded like 2 months in, which in my mind wasn’t long enough to warrant me “giving up dating” to get over it (we were never exclusive, and he moved to another country 1 month in). Anyway 2 days after I spoke to him last, I met the person I’ve been seeing now for 3 months. It’s going exceptionally well, feels like it’s getting pretty serious, we’re taking an international trip next month for my 30th birthday. I suspect this is the real deal but only time will tell.

   I don’t know if there really is a timeline to expect from it all though. Some people meet people quickly, others don’t, I’ve been using these apps to meet people for 2.5 years. It’s a gamblers fallacy to expect “it’s been X many months, I’m bound to meet someone it works out with in the next few.”

   Just keeping going for it, be your honest self, move on from wishy washy people, is my advice.

4. It took me seven months and we are engaged now after a year. I’m in my mid-30s. With that said I wouldn’t let my experience or others influence your experience.

5. I’ve never met someone thru OLD who I wanted to date longer term. My longer term relationships have all began by meeting IRL first.

6. I’ll let you know when it happens! So far it’s been 9 years since I’ve had an official gf (includes women I’ve met via OLD and in person). Prior to that, 6 years (that was before OLD was really a thing). I’m a pretty picky guy who’s fine with being alone, though.

7. I think it varies greatly on where you are. When I lived in the suburbs every time I was single and genuinely like ok, I’m ready, let’s find someone, I found a relationship pretty fast. Now living in a major city, it’s been a year of hell and many times ghosted. I finally met someone after a year that I’ve been seeing for about three months, feeling a bit hopeful. Don’t give up.

8. I don’t believe in The One, but I think my boyfriend could be a one! I spent about five months on and off OLD since January, was seriously looking and fairly ruthless about weeding out incompatible people (e.g. those who wanted kids, or wanted casual), and he was the seventh and last person I went on a first date with. 🙂 met him in late May, so about five months?

9. I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year and we’re just moved in together. I met him on Bumble the same day I signed up! I did go on several first and second dates with others as I didn’t want to get ahead of myself, but I knew pretty quickly that he was the one for me.

10. 1.5 months after moving to a bigger city (my first normal serious relationship). Before that, 3 years on OLD, met ~10 people and about 3 of those turned into situationships (mostly due to long distance, as the city I lived in was pretty horrible for dating). Edit: Oh I’m 34

11. I started *seriously* looking last year after several years on and off them. I have had some great short term relationships, two off the apps and one in person but all 3 of them ended due to differences in what we were looking for. Two blatantly mislead me me on that and one just didn’t work out. I’m just not into casually dating anymore.

    On one hand it’s obnoxious and somewhat painful to really spend months getting to know someone to give it an actual shot but on the other hand I’m learning more about myself and what I want and how I want to be treated at every attempt.

    I want my next relationship to be legitimate and I don’t mind continuing to be picky while I continue to try to find that special someone.

12. I was 29 (I’m 30 now). I used OLD off and on between 2014-2021. I had actually taken a break for about 5 months (Jan-May 2021) and decided to redownload Hinge in May 2021, my partner and I matched after a few days and he was the only one I went out with after redownloading it.

    I haven’t really left him alone since lol we live together now.

13. I began OLD after a break up in February many years ago, and found someone who I ended up in a LTR with in August of that year. When that relationship ended (and unfortunately had a long, drawn out ending/grieving process) in the month of January, met someone who I had a LTR with in February (though I was only looking for casual at the time – sometimes life throws curveballs). When that relationship ended in December of 2018, I didn’t meet someone with potential until July, 2021. So about 2.5 years.

    I guess part of it could be that OLD has become more difficult in recent years, that it becomes a bit more challenging as you get older (and more discerning?), or – most likely – it just varies! Best of luck!

14. I’ve been on OLD since autumn 2019 and still haven’t found „the one“. Met my ex on Tinder, so I was off the app for about a year and there were some breaks before and after that when I wasn’t active on the apps for a few weeks to months but all on all it’s been going on for around three years now.

15. About 5 years of looking seriously and last year I asked her to marry me after about five years of being together. Best thing I ever did

16. A year and 8 months. But I also started OLD just a few months before COVID hit here. There was one who lasted a few months and one FWB situation (even that description is generous). Now I’ve been my the absolute best man for a little more than a year!

17. I’ve been using these apps since 2014 on and off but never found the one… went though quite a lot heartbreaks because those guys even in their 30s pretend to want serious relationships and then sleep around and either disappear after a while or use very lousy excuses after having sex (and they would really wait to have sex and then leave)

18. Before I quit online dating apps/sites for the last and final time earlier this year I was using them on and off for nearly a decade without much success.

    I changed my bio more times than I remember, made the effort to take decent photos and sent hundreds of well written messages and rarely got replies. When I did the conversation started off well but after a short time chatting all went quiet and I heard no more from them.

    Once I event got blocked just for simply swiping right on someone’s profile. I did however gone on a few dates with a woman I met on a dating site but I soon realised we had absolutely nothing in common so I decided to end things.

    Looking back I suppose I must have felt lonely and needy. Since then I’ve refined my personality and started focusing on myself, hobbies and interests. Made peace with being alone and found acceptance.

19. In my case it’s difficult to define how long I’d been “seriously looking.” I had been using dating apps/sites on and off for over 6 years, but during that time my career necessitated 2 big moves that I wasn’t totally in control of. So I was in a few relationships/situationship type things, but always tried to take things day by day to see if things could get serious enough that they’d be willing to make an unpredictable move with me. That was never a pre-requisite from the get go, it would just be nice if it happened, so I don’t know how much that counts as “seriously looking.”

    I made a resolution that once I made my second move, where I would have much more control over my career from hereon out, I would start genuinely searching and not finding myself in situationships any more. We met about 8 months after that (but I took a few month hiatus due to Covid), and while I don’t really believe in the whole “the one” concept, it’s now been a year and a half and things couldn’t be going better.

20. I’ll let you know if it ever happens… Right now I’ve been on for 10 months, though the first two months I wasn’t looking seriously, and I also took a two month break, so 6 months of seriously looking and dates with maybe 15 women (about half of the total) I considered potential serious options before meeting them and with 3 of those I still thought that after meeting them (but naturally all 3 didn’t see me that way).

21. I don’t know about the ONE but I found a great connection within about a month. I was going on an average of a date a day during that month though

22. 4 years here for me off an on. Oddly enough, the woman I’m seeing now is one I matched with a year ago, went on a date, neither of us were in the right place for each other at the time. But we stayed friends, talked a lot, bitched and moaned about our dating lives.

    Over the last month though, something happened between the 2 of us (still can’t really pinpoint it) and we’ve become much closer and intimate. Someone I can see a future further than just a weekend fling. We’ll see what happens.

23. I met my bf on Hinge during the pandemic 2 years ago. We are living together now with two dogs and planning for the future. He’s now 37 and I’m 40. I’m happier than I have ever been.

24. Good lord..

    So I started the apps in Jan 2020. Met a few women, had a couple relationships in 2020..one went into 2021. Those two were fun, but not the best matches, I didn’t feel the spark after some time and neither did they. One was feb-April 2020, the next was sept2020-March 2021. Spent 6 months of 2021 dating, online mostly. Roughly April-Oct. I was closing up the apps and deciding I was done for a long while when I met my last gf. I thought she was it, we both said we were done. It was the best relationship for 7 months. Then, she shut down in July, shifted her attitude and went cold and distant. Any talks I had were met with arguments and turned against me. We just broke up, after a month of questioning what the hell was going on.

    So, I guess I’ll be back on the apps in a few months? I fkn hate dating…

    So, in summation: I thought I found the one, turns out I didn’t and I guess I’m going back. Fml

25. Between the time seriously looking before I met my ex (a year) and the time I’ve spent single since her – I’m at about 8.5 years at this moment.

    Though I’ve easily spent 3 total years of that OFF the apps and another 2-3 years of those in relationships that didn’t pan out.

    So with that math? 2-4 years I suppose.

26. I haven’t found the one yet, but it’s been about 3 months now since I started seriously looking. I’m 33M.

    My last relationship lasted 10 years and I didn’t go back into dating right away due to Covid. So this has been my first time actively dating since like 2009 lol.

    I don’t think it’s going to take me too long. My biggest issue is just getting used to how much faster things move with online dating. I’ve gotten to a 4th date with 2 different women, and they both told me that they didn’t feel a romantic connection after that. And I’m sure it’s because I didn’t escalate things enough by that point. I just have to learn and adapt.

27. I haven’t had a single long term relationship come from online dating in the last five years. I have permanently given up on OLD and am putting effort into meeting people IRL only.

28. Just last year. It took me about 3 months of Bumble use to find him. Went on about 12-15 dates if I recall during that time, had 3 other prospects at one given time but they didn’t work out for one reason or another. Eventually I found ‘the one’, so to speak. We’ve been together for over a year now, also engaged.

29. Started OLD for the first time in May. Took about a month to meet my current girlfriend, never been happier. 40M.

30. My current boyfriend (36M) and I (37F) met on OLD, we met almost 2 years ago. I think he said he met 5 people or so before he met me? Me, on the other hand, I was on it for 1.5 years and met probably over 30 people. It’s a rough estimate… there were one or two 3-monthers in there as well but I never got rid of the apps until my current boyfriend. I enjoyed meeting new people though, I definitely had the thoughts of “when will I meet my person?” but I wouldn’t say my experiences were bad. A matter of perspective, I think.

    We plan on moving in together in the next 6 months (jobs and leases play factors) – we are pretty serious and happy with each other, we are compatible in many ways. I think he’s “the one” but I guess ultimately you never know.

    OLD is luck and persistence in my opinion, kind of like meeting IRL is, as well. A medium that works well for one person might work differently for another.

31. I met my husband after about two years of OLD and now we’ve been together for 6 years and just got married this month!

32. I’ve been on the dating apps consistently since I was 17 (sites back in the day) minus the times where I took breaks or dated someone. 29 and single as of now lol.

33. Match: maybe 1 month to meet my ex-husband (June 2013)
    Tinder: 1 week after my ex-husband moved out to find my ex-boyfriend (Jan 2018)
    Tinder: 7-8 months to find my boyfriend (July 2021-Feb 2022)

34. Still looking! I’ve been on and off the apps since 2015. Had one long relationship with a man who wanted to get married, but I was not ready (I was 27 at the time). I was living abroad so I wasn’t seriously looking. I started actually looking for something more serious when I came back to the US last year. No luck yet.

35. 4 years off and on. Then I met my fiancé, dated for 2 years and now getting married this Saturday!

36. I was using OLD for casual for 2.5 years. Once I decided to start dating with the intention of finding a relationship, it took 6 months. Another 3-4 months before we made it official.

37. I think I was more intentional this time around it was about 1-2 months but I found someone who is a great communicator when I was ready to be an open communicator as well.

38. I was with a guy for 7 years I met on POF back before it got too scummy. I was 32 at the time

    ​

    I dunno, 2 weeks or so? I figure you’ve seen everyone in your area by that point.

39. * 23, 2 weeks, 2.5 years (she changed her mind on migrating)
    * 26, 1 week, 6 years (marriage/divorce)
    * 32, 2 weeks, 2.5 years (potentially marriage)

    Last time I got on the apps I told myself I’m going to date at least five people before deciding to settle on someone. Went on one date with my gf and was like, *”Wow, she’s amazing.”*

    I’m pretty strict with who I’m swiping on (I’ve probably read/reviewed 100+ profiles on here and there’s probably 1 I’d swipe on) and tend to go through the entire city (5m population) very quickly.

    Usually I set up the draft profile offline and then shove it all into the dating app quickly, and run through profiles, so nobody I ever swipe on sees anything but a fully fledged completed profile. Plus, it maximises the new user boost.

    All that said when you’ve had 3 relationships from 3 dates it probably tells you that you’re a little too easy going in person. On the bright side, at the very least finding 2-6 year relationships with people comes easy 🤷‍♂️

40. I divorced in January 2016, and started dating April/May of that year.

    My fiancé and I met right before COVID (Nov ‘19). I was just turning 37, he was 40. I had gone through some situationships which helped me realize what was most important for me long term. Eventually I decided I didn’t want kids and just wanted to enjoy my childfree life by traveling and other memorable experiences.

    His only other serious relationship besides me was his mid 20s. He knew he didn’t want kids early on which made it hard for him to find a serious relationship. We met just after I made the childfree lifestyle decision.

41. 2-3 months. I got lucky

42. Was OLD for 5 years and deleted it. Met someone naturally when I stopped “looking” and just enjoyed being present.

43. About a week at 32. Currently married for 3 years. He was the first and only person I met on Tinder.

44. It took me roughly a year to find my last long-term partner through OLD, and after that ended, about a year to meet a woman who I’d rematch with 3 years later and am getting major long-term vibes from.

    At this point I don’t see a point in putting a number of timeframe on it. The first time I tried online dating I met maybe 5-6 women through Tinder, two of which I already knew, before something worked out. This time around, I was looking (but not aggressively) for a year before meeting the woman I’m now dating. That didn’t work out the first time and I hit the apps hard, but spun my wheels for 3 years despite meeting a ton of people. Most were interested in everything but a serious relationship.

    That shit got demoralizing. Crazy to me that she popped back up in my life around the time I decided to take my foot off the gas and start deleting my profiles. Is she the one? I certainly hope so, even though I don’t know if I believe in the concept. But I can say that the last time I met (and actually dated) someone I thought was this fucking rad was before Tinder was first released, and I always figured I’d have married her if circumstances didn’t take us in different directions.

    Now if you want to talk about the opposite extreme, the woman I’ve been dating had her profile for all of 4 hours, matched with me, deleted her profile (she didn’t think I’d respond), and then got a text from me because I still had her number.

45. 30(F)… met OP on bumble. Six months later and it’s going, slowly but surely. He’s amazing in so many ways and I’m so thankful for him. There’s still uncertainty as we’ve never brought up the topic about ltd but I’m enjoying it all as it goes along in the meantime.

46. My current SO, who has been the best thing to happen to me, and I have truly never experienced a relationship like this.

    I met him within a day of setting up my profile. But had been trying on and off sometime before, having taken 5 months off from dating right before meeting.

    Early 30s. I think it was absolutely dumb luck.

47. Haven’t find anyone yet, but I’ve been on OLd 9 years, seriously maybe 5 years and counting hahaha

48. About 9 months or so. We got married in February. I’m 35 and he’s 32.