Lack of friends getting me down

29M and struggled socially all my life and I’m wanting to fix it.
Sorry if it’s a bit of a rambling post or if it’s posted in the wrong place.

I always struggled at school and only had one very confident friend and wouldn’t talk to anyone outside of them. When he developed a group of friends later on I would go to social events with them but just sat in the corner not saying anything. I made some attempts at making friends with them individually which worked occasionally but it was something I found very difficult.
Eventually I discovered that alcohol and drugs helped me feel confident enough to socialise in groups, but I always did those to excess and the stark difference between how I behaved ended up alienating that entire group to the point I lost contact with all of them.

For the past 5 years I have had one friend from work their 40s who I find it easy to talk to and a social life that involves regularly going to the pub with people she met at the pub. However the same situation occurs as before where I struggle in a group and end up not saying anything or just talking to her. I’ve had to give up alcohol because of how I behave when I drink which doesn’t help. It doesn’t help that although these are nice people, they are all much older than me (mostly retired)with very different lives and interests, so can’t really see any friendships developing. To be honest I wouldn’t describe myself as close friends with the person at work as she is very confident and talks easily with everybody and really I’m just another person at the pub. She doesn’t have any interest in doing activities individually with me, I always fit myself around her pub plans, which is fine but not really what I’m after.

What I want to ask is am I being reasonable to want more than this socially? I would love a group of friends my own age. Is this social life normal for people my age and something I should just accept or is it something I should try to change? If it is something I can expect to be able to change how can I go about it? I’ve tried using Bumble and finding local groups but with no success.
Thanks for taking the time to read this and any advice is much appreciated.