when people say things to me i’ll have no idea how to respond to them and my mind just goes blank and i usually come up with a generic non interesting response. it’s given me a lot of problems and social anxiety is through the roof. any tips?

2 comments

  1. Yeah, a few tips.
    1. The more invested you are in what someone will think of you, the harder it will be to act normally around them.
    2. As long as you TRY to figure out what to say, you will come up with nothing.

    Basically the only way to have a natural conversation is to listen naturally and respond honestly. Literally “be yourself.” What did they say? How did what they say make you feel? Say that out loud. Let your mind speak. Don’t worry about sounding weird.

    The less you focus on what your supposed to say, the more room there will be in your mind for getting your own thoughts on what someone is talking about.

  2. Ye old social anxiety: the negative feedback loop. You get anxious you’ll look bad, so you act in a way that looks bad, so you notice it looks bad, which makes you even more anxious, etc.

    I stupidly easy way to break this is just to start off by warning the person about your social anxiety and to ask them to just ignore it. They’ll usually agree. Then pause when it starts to rise, acknowledge it to them, and then continue talking through it. People will often reassure you when this happens as well.

    If you do this enough with different people, they won’t be strangers any more. You’ll feel more confident around them. That confidence will occur for new people as well, pushing aside the anxiety. So face it and work through it, if you can.

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