This is long and embarrassing!
Backstory: a few years ago I was randomly followed on social media by this cute guy who goes to the same gym as I do. I always found him attractive, and I liked that he was into fitness, much like me. He also is career oriented and hard working, much like myself. He basically has many qualities that I would love a man to have.
We never had a conversation until….
A year or so later; where he shows up at my (old) job because he met my boss who made him do some favors. We ran into each other and I see how good-looking he is. All my co workers at the time told me there was something in the air between us, that we made a good couple and what not, and that he seemed to like me. I didn’t believe it though. **I developed a crush on him regardless.**
I’m very SHY, introverted, and have a bit of low self esteem. I’m also negative. lol. He is also a few years older than I am. For those reasons, I never thought that he would be into me. I was also in college at the time, heavily stressed and focused on just graduating.
Anyways, we became normal acquaintances and he got my phone number. He invited me to a local church and I go by myself.
I go a few a times because I know the guy is a regular person at the church, and I was making the effort to show face. Even though I didn’t think he liked me, I went to see if some how we would get to know each other more.
I did get to know him, but over the surface. He seemed like a very kind and giving person to the community. He knows a lot of people and loves to meet them too. He’s huge on social media.
To make things short and sweet, at church and at a couple of events I attended, I never got the vibe that he liked me. He would talk to his friends and people around him (he is super EXTROVERTED), and wouldn’t pay much attention to me.
I tried to make friends with people around me obviously, but my whole purpose was to get to know the guy. After a couple of times I kind of got the feeling that maybe he just didn’t like me THAT WAY. Maybe he just invited me to church as trying to network.. which is something he is known for.
Anyways, I stopped going to these events because I wasn’t that extroverted to go to things like that by myself. I continued going to the gym where I usually would see him anyway, and I still do.
When I am at the gym, I’m also a bit of a shell and I don’t talk to anyone. I focus on my workout. The guy mentioned to me a few times that he always wanted to talk to me at the gym, but that I looked so focused that he didn’t want to disturb me.
After some months I really stopped talking to the guy and just kept him on social media. We would say the occasional “hey” at the gym but that’s it. I didn’t think he was into me. I think the whole time I was just another person he was trying to be friendly with and network with, IMO.
FAST FOWARD 2 YEARS LATER?
I have a whole other relationship I’m in and I am freshly graduated from college, working and focusing on my goals.
I still see him at the gym and he is just as cute as he always has been. He says hi to me and I say hi back. That’s IT though. The conversation doesn’t ever go beyond hi and sometimes I wish it did because he is so freaking cute! But maybe I just have too much of a serious face when I work out.
Sometimes I feel that he follows me around and keeps an eye on me when I work out. Its almost like where ever I end up, he somehow gets in my view.. and I go to a big gym.
There are times where he will “like” an OLD photo on my social media, which I am not sure why he does that. Or if I post on my story, he will “like” it. But that’s it.
Similar to me, he was able to achieve a couple of successes in his life and work on his goals as well. This makes me like him even more for some reason.
There have been moments where I’d tried to make convo with him.. but the few times I did, it just didn’t feel right. He seemed to brush me off and leave in a rush one time I did that.
IDK WHY, but something about this man attracts me to him and I still have a crush on him. I even have a boyfriend now and I still admire him from far.
One time I was out at a bar with my boyfriend and some friends and I saw the guy there, where he seemed to want to say hi to me, but I guess since I had the BF with me, he didn’t.
To end this long vent, it’s been a long time and he has had his chance to shoot his “shot”. If he ever DID like me, I would have known by now. I feel like this guy really just does not like me or maybe he is possibly gay or just not looking for anyone. I want to forget about him and stop finding him so attractive. HELP! When ever I see him a want to crumble.
*Why do I have such a big crush on someone who does not seem to acknowledge my existence?*
tldr: How to move on from a man who is my gym crush but does not seem to like me?