I will try to explain my story, but sorry if my english isn’t good, I’m spanish native and I haven’t a good level of english (I use Google to help me in some sentences or words).
Well, I begin: many years ago, I fall in love with a friend in high school times. I never have a love relation with this girl, but I know that we have some passion between us until I, with 18 years old, made a mistake: drink many alcohol, take two pills that I find in a first-aid-kit, and begin to say that I was the more addicted to all in the room (it was a dinner in a restaurant with all student and profesors from my class). I won, drink more than anyone, and then this friend take the pills and say me that I can’t control me, and began to cry. Then my world went down. Really down. I was deppressed, and I go to a beach city to work some time witouth any relation with friends, only work. I was about 2-3 years without any other relationship, only waiting to have a relation with her, but never have.
Even with this story, some time later we continue being friends. I preferred to have her as a friend than not to have her in my life. And we became better friends. Maybe she is my favourite person in the world, or at least, she was. But some years later, when I begin a relation with other person (my actual girlfriend), I tell this story, and she don’t ask me that I have to stop talking with my old friend, but don’t understand our relation and remember me that she doesn’t understand that every time that she can. A day we talk over this, I was very angry and decide without thinking to stop talking with my old friend, erase his phone number, delete from facebook…
It’s been a few years since that, and now I miss my old friend. Some day I dreamed with her. I miss many friends, because now I have nothing in my city, and feel alone and without any who can talk to me. I don’t know how talk about this with my girlfriend, because I don’t want to ask permission to talk with an old friend, but I feel some anxiety when I think in talk to her without telling my feelings to my girlfriend.
This situation make me more anxious than normally, and I feel lost. Maybe when I write to my old friend she don’t want to talk to me, and prefer have no contact with me in the rest of her life. I don’t know, but if I do nothing, never will know.
I was about one month thinking in all this situation, and I can’t get a solution that like me. I know that the better option is talk with both girls, and see what happens.
What do you think about this situation? Can give any advice, or pass a similar situation? How solve it?
Tl;Dr I (34m) want to talk again with an old friend (34f), but don’t know how to speak about this with my girlfriend (29f).