I know the title may be a little vague, but let me explain. I’m 30 and my husband and I are high school sweethearts and only ever been with each other. We have a great relationship and a great sex life. But I have always felt some resentment / regret that I never experienced having sex with other people. This is something that I am open with my husband about because I did not feel like it was right to hide from him. He was able to understand to an extent, but was ultimately hurt by this and said although he wondered what it was like to have sex with other people, it was never a regret for him. There was really no conclusion to our conversations about this as there isn’t really anything for him to say.
Anyway, I often imagine myself in random scenarios that lead to sex. (One night stand, fucking a roommate, etc). The scenarios do not have anybody that I know, just faces if that makes sense. I often imagine these before I go to bed and it helps me fall asleep weirdly enough. I guess this is my way of “living out” my fantasies. I have never told my husband this and have wondered if this is considered cheating. I have thought if it was the reverse and my husband was having these imagine scenarios if I would want to know and I wouldn’t. As long as he’s not acting on them and it’s not actual people in his life.
This is a vulnerable post and I’m really just looking for genuine feedback. Thank you!
6 comments
No it’s being human
Unfortunately it’s in the eye of the beholder. Because my opinion as a more sexually open person is absolutely not. But if your husband was hurt by what was already said he probably would call it cheating. And his opinion is the only one you are actually seeking. That being said congratulations to you both for holding on strong. I find that people will let fear of all kinds distort their perception of things especially these things because it’s the heart that gets hurt. I have also explained to my husband of 24 years that I have desires it’s been a long road because he let’s his fear control his actions and words. He has definitely become better about some of the things I say. But its still uphill. Just be sure that u don’t sacrifice yourself because then bigger regrets will happen.
Personally, I wouldn’t consider it cheating. I’d sugggest everybody thinks about having sex with other people, so if it is cheating, we’re all guilty ☺️
Nope
Have whatever fantasies you like. It’s not cheating at all.
Be selective in what you share and when.
Lol no, actually living it out is cheating