I’m (25M) considering breaking up with girlfriend (25F) after 4 years | TLDR at the end

\[TLDR AT THE END\]

After 4 years, I’m starting to get overwhelmed by my girlfriend’s constant negativity and insecurity.

For most of the relationship, she’s always been one to worry about everything and overthink every situation. In the first year, she’d always ask:

* Do you actually love me?
* Do you like talking to your friends more than me?
* Would you be happier with another girl?

I understand wanting to hear some kind of reassurance, but right after the honeymoon phase, I was constantly having to reassure her and it was absolutely draining. Multiple times a day felt excessive, especially when I’d sacrifice my entire schedule just to spend time with her. I’ve done nothing but show love and affection, but I still had to prove it regularly. It felt like she’s always thinking the worst in me and hoping so badly to be proven right that I somehow wouldn’t love her.

For the most part, those issues are now resolved, but there’s still some things lingering. For example, she’s not constantly worrying about our relationship, but other things such as work. I understand being worried about work and thinking if something you did could change how people see you after the weekend. I’m not asking her to be someone who can just not care about how others see her. I’m just thinking maybe there could be some other way to take some of the stress off of me.

I want to be there for my girlfriend whenever she’s worried about something or wants to feel better, but whenever I try, she’s always going to deny everything I say and just stay within her own bubble of thinking. It’s really tough because now the mood is sour and it’s hard to do anything when she’s visibly upset.

She says that she has exhausted all other methods of relieving her own stress and worries, such as, talking with friends, writing in her diary, and just thinking to herself. But I feel like all of this isn’t really enough because I still take on most of the stress and the atmosphere we live in is just always negative. She says that the best way for her to feel better is for me to act like nothing is wrong and just continue as normal, but I can’t do that. I can do it sometimes, but not all the time.

We talked about this a few times but I’m starting to feel that I’m at my limits. I’m usually a very positive person but the negative environment is draining. It’s hard to stay happy all the time when she’s always upset about something, you know?

Now I feel like I need more time and space away from her, in order for me to recharge. But this isn’t a healthy way either because she just gets more upset and worries more about everything. It’s become a constant cycle. She also gets sad that I’m not showing any affection whenever we talk about this stuff. I feel it could be something I work on but, it’s just incredibly hard to show affection when I’m upset at her. I’ve told her this whole thing multiple times and I’m starting to feel resentful, which I don’t want.

I feel like I think I should break it off. Personally, I don’t think I’m the right person for her. I can’t be the guy that stays positive and happy all the time when I have someone always bringing me down.

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What do you guys think? What should I do?

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Thank you, I appreciate you reading this and any input that you can provide!

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TLDR;

GF (25F) is always worrying and overthinking, and it’s draining for me.