I 21f lost a-lot of my friends. Look at my post history it you want details. It was a shitty group of people and a shitty situation. People who barely knew me decided to hate me, and close friends wanted to ruin my life over asking for space.
For the past three months I’ve been desperate to make friends. To the point my grades are suffering and I’m getting snaps from people I talked to only once. I worry about it constantly, and constantly talk about it to the close friends I have left. But not to new people.
So far I don’t have a massive amount of interest. I’m not socially anxious or weird. I don’t spam people with invites or texts. But I think worrying about making friends to the point I’m neglecting my school, crying and obsessing about it constantly, and being too worried about how my social performance is sabotaging my efforts.
I don’t think I’m being pushy or overbearing, but I think my desperation is rubbing off on people. Is that something that could be preventing me from connecting with others?
Edit: I’ve done all the typical advice for meeting new people. My issue is that I don’t connect with people as fast or as easily as I want to. They don’t ever warm up to me even if I take active interest in their lives.
8 comments
Well that sounds like something normal to me. I being in that situation before, but is good that you don’t spam them cause that kinda annyoes a lot of people. Have you try maybe joining in clubs or gatherings of things you may like?
People in your life are always temporary. I thought I have a very close friend but now I don’t. Don’t worry about who is neglecting you. Also try to enjoy things by yourself, you don’t need anyone.
Are you afraid of being lonely? Why are you so desperate for friends? Sometimes we go through periods of loneliness and we lose people but in those moments we need to look inward and find ourselves. Don’t rush your time of healing and peace for fast friends that’ll probably burn you again. Take your time and quality people will gravitate towards you.
Maybe checking your mental health first?
I believe being comfortable with your own company is a great path to ensure you will find the right people the next time.
It seems to me that you are desperate to find new people that could heal your wounds. That isnt rational nor healthy.
I would recommend hiking clubs, chess clubs, tennis, squash club? Golfing, book clubs, running clubs, anything that you may remotely be interested in….. join a club or sport and meet people who have a common interest. That way natural friendships can form authentically. Also, start reading Brene Brown’s books- very insightful. Really helped me to gain confidence and start on a path of self love. I started to attract more authentic relationships!! Good luck OP 💪💪👍🙏
No, it doesn’t turn people off, but it might make them uncomfortable if they feel like they are being interrogated. Try to be more casual and approachable when meeting new people. Instead of asking them a million questions, try to engage in conversation and let it flow naturally.
Maybe it’s because you only care about yourself. You see others only as what they cAn do for you and not what you can do for them?
this is why you don’t ever let your girlfriend disrespect your wife.