I have been seeing a guy for the last few weeks. We connected very quickly and have spent pretty much every other day together (easily over 10 dates.) At this point im not interested in seeing other people so I decided to broach the topic of exclusivity. He told me that while he is enjoying what we have going on he feels that it’s too soon to establish exclusivity and wants to continue getting to know me better before he can make that decision. He said he hasn’t been seeing anyone since our first date but feels that we should revisit the conversation of exclusivity in a month to see how we feel. He assured me that he isn’t stringing me along but I am feeling a little worried.
I know three weeks isn’t a long time to know somebody before becoming exclusive but the nature of our dates and amount of times we’ve seen each other makes it easy for me to determine that he’s a good match for me and I dont care to see other people. We have plans for the upcoming months (involving concerts and whatnot) so I believe that he sees some potential in this. I just can’t tell if I’m looking at this situation with rose colored lenses or if maybe I need to be a little more patient with the process. Normally I wouldn’t expect to be exclusive with someone after three weeks but we’ve spent a significant amount of time together and have grown quickly comfortable with each other. He even introduced me to his friends goddamn it!
I’m seeking guidance on how to best move forward in this. I can’t tell if I can I trust that this guy actually wants to take things slow and if revisiting this conversation in a month will change his mind. All advice welcome lol
5 comments
He isn’t wrong at all to pump the brakes. If you genuinely like him then take your time. You putting all of your eggs into his basket is your call. Things may work out how you want them to or they may not. It’s just a normal part of dating/relationships.
Just keep going at the pace you’re comfortable and broach this subject again in one month. He’s not ready. If you’re enjoying yourself, meet him where he is now. What’s a month in the scheme of things?
Some people take longer to really be sure.
Relationships are tricky and people move at different paces. If you think that he is a good match for you and you want things to move forward, wait till he is ready. It’s better to have tried for something good and not gotten it, than to have never tried at all. He may just need more time to prepare to be in a more serious commitment and that’s okay. I personally would wait it out especially if things are going well.
3 weeks would be too fast for me.
I agree with him