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I don’t think it’s a big deal, or the reason anyone stopped talking to you. I can’t imagine a girl being like, “Oh there’s this awesome guy I matched with, he’s so cute, but I found out he doesn’t have IG so it’s never gonna work.”
I have IG too but like you, never use it, and I tell that to guys when they ask but it doesn’t seem to bother them. It’s just because they want to look at more pictures of me, which can be sent accordingly and problem solved
When it comes to girls (especially online) having an active instagram gives you TREMENDOUS social proof. It’s essentially a dating resume showing that you have an active life full with other people in it.
A few years ago I would say Instagram isn’t necessary, but nowadays when it comes to dating pretty much everyone uses it. Having an active timeline could be the difference between a girl wanting you or not.
I suggest getting a friend to just snap a few pics every time you’re out doing something and post the best ones on your timeline, and occasionally a video of your friends when something fun is happening.
I personally wish it never existed but you have to adapt to the times my friend. Good luck!