I (31M) was dating a (24F) woman who I really connected with on a lot of levels. We had worked together for a while during which time I had strictly placed her in the “not an option” category in my head until she really pursued me one month.
Once we started dating it was hard to let those walls down that I had put up, but I knew I wanted to and I really liked her and liked spending time with her, and saw a future with her. She did however drink way more than I do. I’ll have a few but she would get tanked. During one of our initial dates she got very drunk and attempted to drive home to which I said “no just come back to my house”. Which was stupid in retrospect being that I was basically sober and she was smashed – what did I think was going to happen.
Anyway we get home, talk for a bit and then she basically just jumped into my arms and started kissing me. And I felt…. absolutely nothing. I wanted to kiss her but it felt wrong/weird. I *did* continue to kiss her and we did continue to hook up. But our first kiss was devoid of excitement to me and our relationship after that felt off. Just curious if anyone has had a similar experience or what people think here cause I can’t tell if I had a moral problem with it or if it just killed the sexual chemistry for me or something or if it just had nothing to do with that and it was just her and me weren’t going to work.
TL;DR: Can having relationship firsts where one partner is drunk and the other one isn’t cause connection issues and impact the chemistry of the relationship?
4 comments
I feel like this is a roundabout way of asking if you should date an alcoholic just so you have A Girlfriend. Which, no. You should not.
I mean when one seems to potentially have a problem with drinking and is a drunk driver then yes that’s an issue, I think you should have just got her home safely and not invited her home with you though. That’s on you.
No. One moment can’t impact an entire relationship. Your age difference can impact the relationship quite a bit. Saying you never really felt excited can impact the entire relationship. Lastly, being confused and bothered enough to make a Reddit post usually doesn’t predict future happiness in a partnership.
Short answer, yes. Trust your gut.