guys who were out of shape but worked out and became hot, how women behaviour changed towards you?

21 comments

1. Getting healthy is always better. For everything.

2. [before and after with a 35 lb weight loss over the course of three years](https://imgur.com/a/cCN8N5r)

   I’m also short (5’6”.) I won’t lie: I was on dating apps before my weight loss and after, and I got more attention when I was fit. However, eventually I found my now-girlfriend, and I can tell you that there were things other than my looks that attracted her to me, and she has said (and I believe her) that she would still like me if I was my heavier self.

   If you’re going to get in shape, do it for yourself, not for other people. Like I said before, getting fit will get you more attention, and if you’re only looking for quick hookups, that’s fine, but for a deep and lasting relationship, there are other things far more important.

3. I kinda did that, went from zero to having a normal sex life. When I was into the gym with a six pack etc I hooked up with women fairly regularly via online sites. It was pretty easy tbh.

   A friend of mine REALLY did it, lost probably 100lbs and became a bodybuilder/powerlifter. Looked like Arnold lol. He was hooking up with a ton of women plus dating a couple regularly. Unfortunately the woman he ended up with (beautiful girl who wasn’t a good person) got him on drugs and it messed him up to where he killed himself.

4. It definitely helps a lot. If you look healthier and stronger, that is obviously going to be more attractive to women (you can overdo it for some) but the biggest gamechanger was the extra confidence it gave me. That confidence is what ultimately lead to more interest by women. And then my current amazing girlfriends’ requirements were that I could lift her easily haha so that works out. She is a gym goer aswell so. Plus women are more likely to touch my arms et cetera.

5. First, you don’t rely on motivation of any kind to keep going to the gym, ESPECIALLY women. You rely on discipline. Workout when you’re supposed to whether you feel like it or not. Don’t get me wrong, we all wanna look good to the opposite gender but it should not be a primary driving factor. But when you see results, yes. They will start to look your way and talk to you, etc. But always keep in mind that it wasn’t always that way. The reason they like you is because they respect the DISCIPLINE it takes to stay in shape. Also keep in mind that women look for a lot more you can offer besides your body.

6. Copying an old comment I wrote about this from a [similar thread](https://old.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/g0n8td/guys_who_lost_weight_to_attract_women_did_it_help/) (you’d probably be interested in the answers there as well):

   It all started after a breakup from a five year relationship.

   I didn’t lose weight to solely attract women, but I can’t deny it was a motivating factor. I also worked on improving my appearance in general, by dressing better and grooming better. I also worked on becoming more sociable and outgoing, open to new things and experiences, making positive career moved, started taking pride in my living space and keeping my apartment clean and well decorated, and being more willing to be vulnerable and direct about my intentions. All the self-improvement naturally made me more positive and confident. In terms of stating disciplined, I took regular progress photos and kept track of the numbers–it was always a big motivator to see the trajectory going in the right direction.

   I had *a lot* more success with women (albeit I was starting from a pretty low bar), though how much can be attributed specifically to weight loss vs the other things I mentioned is unknown. I can say that I got many more physical compliments from women I dated, which I still haven’t gotten used to since I spent a long time feeling like an ugly duckling.

   I still have issues and insecurities that predate all the self improvement that I’m working on, and perhaps that’s why I haven’t been in a serious relationship since that last one ended a couple years ago (although there was one girl I dated for a few months that looked like it was going to turn serious that ended due to logistical reasons).

   Keep working on being your best self, physically, emotionally, and financially, and learn to accept and embrace the emotional vulnerability required to put yourself out there and risk rejection (easier said than done, I know–I definitely am still working on this), and understand that you’ll still have to put in the effort and make the first move.

   Also lean in to your demographic so to speak–if you’re a nerd, odds are you’ll do best with nerdy women. If you’re artistic, you’ll do best with women who like music and the arts. If you love the outdoors, you’ll do best with women who like it too. Figure out the type of women who will really like your genuine self; it’ll be much easier to attract them and much more fun to spend time with them. Better be the type of person who 10% are really into than the lukewarm person trying to appeal to everyone.

   Do the above, and you’ll have no problem finding dates. That was my experience, at least.

7. I also am short used to be kind of skinny. Ever since I started working out consistently I have noticed more attention from women as well as some compliments on my physique. However I would say the biggest thing is working out improves ur self esteem and confidence (which should be the main reason you decide to do it) which in turn helps you with women later on.

8. I went from anorexic skinny to being kinda burly honestly. I would get some positive attention here and there before, being the type of dude I am, but it’s very different after. I just had a very pretty girl right in front of me check me out, all the way up and down. It’s funny.

   That said, I don’t think it really did much in terms of finding girlfriends. That’s personality. Granted, I’ve never been into casual sex.

9. I got lots more attention and still do as I’ve kept it up. For a long time it messed me up because I thought women were being insincere, maybe trying to trick me. I was the same dude, but all of a sudden they find me finny? I definitely had some years before I wasn’t automatically shutting down every woman that came up to me smiling.

10. I’ll be honest, it changed everything. I got a lot more attention, and green light signals got way more obvious. I still had to do all the work, but it was much more positively received.

    Overall I’d tell any man to get into good shape before you try to date. It may be shallow, but is it really so awful to have some pride in your appearance. Most men expect women to.

11. confidence has had *far* more to do with how attracted people are to me than how objectively physically attractive i am. i’ve never found a substantial link between the two, either, but i know that’s not typical.

    there are few downsides to hitting the (home) gym, though. i’d highly recommend it.

12. Dont be sloppy and have money. That’s all they care about.

13. I was never out of shape but went from skinny to muscular and when I leave the house there will be women look at me the same way they complain about men looking at them

14. I am shorter as well at least my wife teases me all the time because she is 5’10” and I’m 5’9″ 🤣 I was 220 about four years ago and then changed my life around. I changed my eating habits, started working out, and then started feeling more confident in my body. I am now completely satisfied with my body and appearance. I can say I have a huge ego and love to post on NSFW subs, I love the attention. I do notice more women especially moms that give me looks and even engage with a friendly “hi” or something like a 2 liner at the grocery store.

    I was out with friends a few weeks back and we went to the casino and did have a woman hit on me which is honestly a really amazing feeling to know you still got it.

    I would say this, do what you do for “yourself” and the rest will follow. If you start to take care of your body and change your habits the rest will align in your favor. 😎

15. The working out does give you a more desirable body. But you are still you. The big thing is the confidence it gives you, and that confidence is what people are attracted to.

    And yes the attitudes will change towards you somewhat. A little confidence goes a long way.

16. Get in shape for yourself. I lived with three others guys and I learned a lot about this. Two were ripped, the most ripped was super self conscious, more than anyone I’ve seen. The best one with women, and people in general because that’s all women are, was the most out of shape dude. Absolutely amazing guy to be around, hilarious, happy, confident.

    Be healthy so you can stick around longer, not for women, because it’s not a be all end all and if it is, she’s not the one for you.

17. I had become so used to women just using me and playing with my feelings that now whenever any girl hits on me i’ll have trust issues at first

18. No difference.

19. So this isn’t the first time I was fat and then I’m shape but I went from this:

    https://imgur.com/a/eBQJvmX

    To this

    https://imgur.com/a/ku4MrMh

    Back in 2018. It was kinda night and day and it’s always like that. Either I’m not getting any attention when I’m fat or girls suddenly like me now and I get flirted with when I’ve been working out.

20. It’s hard going as a short man. But you can stand out by your actions: great career, or great artistic or musical skills, putting effort into something you believe in (volunteering, fund raising, etc), funny, etc.

    How do you think women should be seducing you? You are salty you get little attention but slag off the girl who showed interest in you. Beggars can’t be choosers.

21. Get healthy for you, because outside of dating apps the actual benefit of getting in shape(not necessarily hot because some of us just have an ugly face) is that you feel better physically and mentally. You’ll also gain some confidence in doing so and that’s more important than your physique, so long as it doesn’t turn into arrogance.

    Take this with a grain of salt because I’m 5’3″ ish so nobody cares about how “in shape” I am. My gf only really cares to the extent that I’ve genuinely been happier since I got into better shape.