I’m 20F, my boyfriend is 24M.
We met at work, and talked during our shifts for May and June and got to know each other quite well. July 11th, we had our first date. Two weeks later we had sex for the first time. Since then, it’s moved so fast.
I’ve spent many nights over at his place, he helped me look for cars and went with me to check them out until I found one to buy, and he’s been helping me with repairs on it. I’m around his family so much I’m completely comfortable around his parents and we joke and get along great.
I’ve dropped him off for things like bank appointments and then driven his car back to his place, and picked him up again after. He’s helped me out with my work pay statements and making spreadsheets as there was an issue with my pay.
We had a mini weekend away at his cottage after a couple weeks of dating, and this coming weekend we’re going on a trip to Montreal.
When we’re alone, we’ve both joked about how fast we got comfortable with each other. Like we’re so weird, he farts in front of me already, he woke me up the other day by booping my nose with his repeatedly, he’ll just lay next to me and play with my boob like it’s jello, all little things like that. One time after sex somehow the topic of baby names came up and we spent like 2 hours scrolling through lists laughing at the different names and comparing the ones we liked. We’ve talked about where we want to live in the future and what we sorta want our lives to be like, and it all lines up.
I’ve had the urge to tell him I love him for a few weeks now, and I think he has too. I was sick today and he texted me to say “sending you all the love and kisses.”
For some perspective, I am not like this. I have had 6 relationships where I wasn’t comfortable being myself around them even after like 10 months of dating. If I was spending time with them, I would get tired of it and look forward to going home. I was not a lovey-dovey person, and I have never been in love before. This relationship has completely caught me off guard in the best way possible. It’s like we act like a couple that’s been dating and living together for years, and it’s only just coming up on 2 months together.
Is this abnormal or too fast?
TL;DR: been dating for under 2 months but are completely comfortable with each other, like we’ve known each other for years
7 comments
Not that abnormal when you find someone like this that you click so well with. Doesn’t mean you can fart around him though, lol.
Just read up on love-bombing so you’d be aware of the red flags to look for them. Personally it’s worrying when something starts so intense. It’s good you’re happy, just remember that this is still the honeymoon period and to look out for yourself.
I would say it’s a little fast, but not necessarily a problem. You talked about baby names for fun, but it’s not like you’re actually talking about having a baby together any time soon (that would be a red flag). You two are getting along well and getting very involved with each other, but you aren’t pushing for any big life changes from either of you yet, which is good. The main thing to keep in mind is that you are both firmly in the honeymoon phase, so you can’t judge the quality of the relationship yet, unless it gets bad. Early on, things are supposed to be good and easy, so when they are, it means little. When it’s bad, that is a pretty good indication things won’t work out. During the honeymoon phase, you two should just enjoy it, and learn as much as you can about each other, in the hopes of building up a good foundation for the relationship for when the honeymoon phase wears off. So, enjoy it, but don’t totally lose your perspective. And I hope it does work out long term.
This sounds pretty special. I think you’re wise to be cautiously optimistic though and self reflective.
Fast isn’t right for everyone, but if it’s the right person and it clicks then 🤷♀️
I met my bf on a Monday, saw him three more times that week, and were official that Sunday. I’ve NEVER been so naturally comfortable with someone in my life. I’m o the point I’ve never had a relationship and I was 28 at the time. A lot like how you describe yourself. It’s been almost a year and a half, still together and are picking out an engagement ring. It’s never felt forced or wrong.
Everyone and every relationship is different. If it’s working and it’s healthy then no, not too fast. I would caution against big decisions, like if you want to move in together. Make sure you take the time to objectively think it over. Keep at it but remember it’s still very new and you don’t know everything about each other.
This is also the advice from someone who has a quick start that worked out super well. I’m sure there are plenty that didn’t. Make sure you take advice from those people into consideration as well. Get all points of view.
I moved in with my bf after 3 months of dating. We’re still together 3 years later…
It’s not that abnormal. Sometimes we meet people and you just vibe. The concern would be reading too deep into it. After all, while intense the reality is that you still don’t know each other that well in terms of being a couple and sometimes the momentum and novelty of a new dynamic can carry you a lot further than you expect. Besides, a lot of the time real compatibility is just as much about how you handle conflict and stress, something you will have to face as a couple eventually.
I say ride that wave. This is the fun part. Be silly and goofy. But don’t overextend, don’t go all in. Pace the big choices like living together and what have you. And be aware that even if earnest that you still need to test the dynamic.