Guys 35+ why didn’t you ever get married?

27 comments

  1. I did! Right around 35.

    And then my partner passed away suddenly when we were 36-37 and I haven’t really had a desire to get into another relationship since then.

  3. Never met anyone I’d want to spend my life with, my one relationship was a trainwreck and I’ve grown accustomed and comfortable to being alone.

  5. Im 34.

    Is that the cut off? Is that the age when its impossible? It feels like it JUST became a realistic goal last week. Before my 30s, women didn’t even believe in marriage. The ones I dated thought marriage was a pipe dream (cause they dads didn’t love their moms, probably?)

    I’ll be married before 40. I got the right one now.

  6. I found my wife at 36.. after 10 years we decided to actually get married, after owning a home and cars together, we still don’t share bank accounts. Prior to 35 I just went from relationship to the next. It never worked out even with some of the long term (3+ years) ones.

  7. Never met the right one and things just never seemed to work out with those i tried with. Not settling just to settle either.

  11. My gf doesn’t care about getting married. I don’t either. We’ve been together nearly 8 years and have a kid so at this point getting married would be even more of an expensive formality.

  14. I just stopped trying to live my life by every else’s rules. I do date occasionally, but never really got that “struck by lightning” feeling. So I’m still single and out here living my life.

  15. Jesus.

    Is it really that bad out there? I’m still in my early 20s and this scares the shit out of me.

    Fellow men, I solute you for your survival! May you find the company and partner that brings peace, grow, and love for both!

  17. I met my husband when he was 25 years old, we worked together and got along amazingly but I was already in a relationship for a few years. I felt so guilty because I started developing feelings for him even though I was dating someone else that I avoided him completely. I saw him go through a number of problems after that and I so wanted to be there for him but I resisted it, he soon left the company and we didn’t work together anymore and lost contact totally. A part of me always wondered what happened to him and little things here and there would often remind me of him and I’d feel guilty about it and push it away.

    That relationship I was in lasted a total of 10 years, he asked me to move in with him and then marry him 7 years into it but it was right after a bad fight happened so I couldn’t take it seriously, and honestly I just couldn’t do it, something felt wrong and there was always an excuse of “we should finish school first” or “get a house” or one thing or another, but the truth is I didn’t know if I could trust him fully. He lied a few times about minor things but it was still enough to break my trust and leave me suspicious of him. Something about it seemed scary to me, like if we moved in together or got married we’d break up or something bad would happen. I talked to him about this and tried to work through it, but most of the time he’d blame me for feeling “crazy” and said that I just needed to work on myself because I was “insecure” He told me that I had nothing to worry about and that I am the love of his life and his no 1 priority always.

    I did everything I could to trust him and work on that, I blamed myself for having trust issues. He finally asked me to marry him again, and I said yes. The way he asked me was pretty bad, he asked while we were driving on a highway, he didn’t even give me a ring. Shortly after my mom got sick, diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer, he was very absent and wasn’t there for me I thought maybe he just couldn’t handle it because it was such a difficult thing to go through.

    On the day she passed away he told me that he had been cheating on me for the entirety of our relationship, every time he went away, or he’d lie and say he stayed up late playing video games but was actually out with some girl. He told me when she passed away because he thought I’d have to forgive him for it because ” I didn’t have anyone else”

    I broke up with him, I lost the two people I was closest to in the world on the same day. Guess who messaged me randomly on LinkedIn that week?

    Yeah my husband was 35 when we got married. He said he waited because he never connected with anyone else like we connected, I was his dream girl and he always compared every girl to me since we worked together and that I was the measuring stick he used against every girl but they never measured up. He was single since the day we met at 25 and never dated anyone else since then, on our first date after all of those years of not seeing each other, he said he knew he was going to marry me and we did.

    I love him and trust him with all my heart, I regret dating my ex, he says I should never feel bad and he wouldn’t change a thing because maybe we wouldn’t have ended up together.

  18. I got married at 39 and was never married before. I just didn’t want to be. Hell I spent 29-36 single on purpose when I decided to start dating again.

    I just wanted to focus on doing whatever I wanted when I wanted. When I got all that out of my system and really wanted a relationship I sought one out. I mean my wife wasn’t the first person I dated when I decided to start dating again. Being single for so long definitely made me comfortable being so, therefore I was far more picky when it came to dating.

  23. Marriage in the west only benefits women. There are zero benefits and a slew of liabilities and risks for men.

  24. Well, because I was raised by “a strong and independent” “mother”, who figured it a good idea to raise me without a dad and abuse me physically and emotionally.

    I learned that women are always right, women can express their emotions at any time, easily and often escalating to physical or emotional abuse while men simply can’t and of course shouldn’t because they are “strong”.

    I later learned that it is not normal that a grown woman forgoes an adult and eye level relationship for the relationship with her son using him for attention whenever she needs while rejecting her sons every need – especially the need for a father and a wholesome family.

    As a beaten, humiliated and degraded human being it is quite difficult to grow up open, extroverted and confident. My mother took everything from me a woman finds attractive. And she made me believe that men don’t have a choice/voice but just have to perform for who ever chooses them. #agencygone

    I was in one long term relationship and a couple of short term ones. Until I realised that I never actively chose them but they chose me and I simply “did my job” deprioritising myself to please them. But at the same time I feared to loose them because they were at least something. Their presence meant that I was not too bad.
    If I could not satisfy them how could I satisfy someone I liked?! Makes sense, right?! No? Well it did to me for a long time. Thank you, mom.

  26. I was 37 when I finally got married. I was a serial monogamer but never found the right one. I was blown away when I met my now wife.

    Just takes time and it’s better than settling and getting divorced

  27. Call me old fashion. But i believe in the old ways of our parents. That once your married it’s for life. Not jumping from marriage to marriage like a game. I rather wait and find that one special lady who i do wanna spend the rest of my life with.

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