I think there comes a time in every man’s life where the veneer of “we’re all in this together” and “you matter” falls away and is replaced by the reality of “nobody actually cares” and “you only matter when you’re functional”. Personally I think the sooner it happens the better.
How old were you when you finally realised how little anyone gives a shit about you and what made you realise?
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Well I think some people do care and if you don’t have anyone who cares maybe you’re around the wrong people..
I mean, I wouldn’t say no one. Most people maybe, but no one is pushing it. I do have friends and family.
Still waiting I guess
My mom told me when I was 11 shortly after my dad died. She was drunk, and I was being a little bitch, was how we made it funny later, but it was a lesson well learned and I haven’t really trusted anyone but my wife since..
I never realized that because it is too much of an absolute. People that don’t know you don’t care about you. Most people do have loved ones though (friends, family, S/O etc) that do care. If you have a friend who doesn’t care they are not much of a friend.
I think your entire first paragraph is horseshit.
I think my parents and brother do care, atleast a bit. I tought my gf cared, maybe she did but she wasnt content with her life and started resenting me because she felt I should be making her happy and ofc I couldn’t do that.
Other than that yes, noone gives a shit about you, I figured that out when I got out of highschool and saw how easily people get out of touch with you. I used to hang out with these people for hours every day, they were a huge part of my life. And they just dissapeared for no real reason.
In fact any friends I ever had were like that, they were only my friends because it was practical. If you’re said or depressed none of them care, nobody will ask you if you’re ok. Even if you try to talk to someone they will just wait it out and change the subject as soon as they can.
I was a little kid, and abused right in front of people and everybody ignored it, and when I asked for help nobody did anything
When someone told me on reddit. (Lol)
When I hit rock bottom (career broke apart, had to move cities to a place I did not like which was full of criminals and crazy people, GF cheated) and I was given the great advice by family, ex GF and a therapist “to just fix my life” while dismissing everything else. I did eventually fix it, but the sacrifices were far from a fun thing to made and I burnt all the bridges to those who couldn’t be bothered to provide the slightest bit of support.
I always knew that people didn’t give a shit about me, but I don’t think it really hit home until I was in high school. Had to take a couple hour trip to grippy sock land. My uncle was there for some reason, and proceeded to yell at me for putting my mother through this. Like I was little more than an embarrassment. Fuck how I was feeling, how dare I make her look bad?
That sealed it pretty easily. At least I was prepared the next year when I graduated and my parents were too busy being pissed that I wasn’t in the honor society to realize just how much I overcame to get to that point.
When I was 21 and got married, and thought about changing career paths and was told that I need to stick to what I’m doing whether I like it or not, even though she changed jobs like she changed her clothes. Also, the term happy wife happy life destroyed my hopes of ever having an opinion that mattered. Then once again with my spine injury at 26, when people found out I couldn’t help them fix things in their house using the trades I learned, and they got mad at me for that and never talked to me again.
I disagree with that people care about how i am, if i’m down some want to offer their ears, some want to spend time with me. But those are real friends.
To me you seem to be talking about people you know, those are not real friends. For those sure, you’re accepted if you’re fun to be around.
And of course aside from family and real friends no one gives à shit about your problems.
I think that is a really weird attitude to take. Everyone cares, to some extent, about others, even about you. It’s just that no one (except maybe your parents) is going to put your needs and wants above theirs. When you make yourself a burden on others, they are going to pull back. Don’t make yourself a burden, and that won’t happen.
You may dismiss that as “you only matter if you’re functional,” but consider, we support non-functional people all the time. And not many people object to that.
I was like 12 when my dad said “Boys don’t cry” I haven’t cried since
Hmmm haven’t realized that yet. Maybe I just have good people in my life.
When I was five years old. I can still remember that day and the experience that made me realize that I’m all alone in this world.
When I stopped posting on social media and nobody noticed.
I’m aware of how little I matter on a global scale, and “we live as we dream – alone”, but I’ve always had people who have cared about me and my feelings, be it family or friends.
Last Tuesday, age 36
I don’t think that’s true, I care a lot about other people, my friends and family and I think they care about me too
I have plenty of people who care about me. If you mean just your general peers and employers, then sure. If you died, they’d replace you tomorrow, so don’t work harder than it takes to collect the check. Likewise, don’t bother with superficial friends. If you know someone wouldn’t be there for you or that you wouldn’t for them, that’s not a friend.
I truly believe that sentiment is either strictly internal, usually because there has been some real trauma in one’s life leading them to believe that way, in which case that person needs to get help, or one is just a real shitty person that drives others away, in which case it is deserved.
I have found when I’m honest, kind, considerate, and generous, those traits will be reciprocated back by the right people I need in my life. Those who don’t, I don’t need around. That’s how I found my tribe.
The first time I was cheated on. If that doesn’t say “fuck you and your feelings” then nothing does.
When my entire childhood consisted of getting the shit beat out of me by my drunk abusive parents just because I was there, and they were pissed off at each other.
That taught me real fast the world doesn’t give 2 shits about individuals. I scraped and be clawed my be way out of that sewer and guess what I’ve learned in 55 years.
The world at large still doesn’t give 2 shits about individuals unless they can market it and make money off it.
Do for yourself, no body else is going to give a damn
There were other instances before but the final straw was when I was in my early 30’s. I had all my life savings stolen in a Ponzi scheme. I was losing the house that I had built with my own two hands. I had built the house on some of my wife’s family land. I was on the verge and actually planning my suicide. There was an extended family dinner with my wife’s brothers, their wives and kids and her parents. The discussion centered on how to keep the property in the family. There was zero discussion as to how they could help me, but rather what a fool I was and how they all knew I would do something like this. Not a single person defended me or showed any care for the stress and depression I was under. One of her brothers worked it out with the bank to buy it off of them, once they foreclosed on me. He still lives in that house 20 years later.
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ps. and everyday on Reddit confirms it
I started realizing when I was 21, but didn’t start affecting me greatly until I was 27.
No girlfriend, no friends. No great passions.
Others don’t care about me so I don’t either lol.
I just kinda woke up one day and looked at the world and the people in it and realized nobody cares
No particular moment. Just day by day realization came to me.
When I was 13.
The very same day that I was no longer a cute little kid
It’s a sobering day when you realize that you aren’t really worth anything and you’re easily replaceable. It’s a good lesson to learn early in life.
When I was 10 and my dad gone bankrupt then left mum . We had nowhere to go and nothing to eat but no one even auntie and uncles and grandparents offered us to stay or support. Mum had to get three different jobs to feed me and my two sisters.
When I was about 5 when my teacher told me to hold open a heavy door for a girl while I had a broken arm I was crying and she told me to man up
For me it was when I lost my first job. I was there a little over 2 years and made what I considered to be good friends with people. As soon as I was out the door I never heard from any of them again. I went from being the only work college invited to a house warming to ignored in no time at all.
I was 13 seeing a family therapist because my mom remarried
I was 12, best and worst realization ever.
Approximately 19 years ago.