I need some advice. Please refrain from judgement.
I went on a first date last night with a guy I met on Hinge. He was super nice, cute and funny and we were hitting it off. He asks me if I want to go to his place, I saw yes because I’m having a good time. He’s mentioned earlier in the night that his friend from out of town is staying with him, but that hasn’t come up again. So far so good.
Cut to, we’re hooking up, everything is going great, he’s gone down on me twice, I’ve reciprocated blah blah we’re having sex about to move positions when he excuses himself, runs to the bathroom and starts running water. Weird. I check, I have thought I was done with my period but it looks like there’s some residuals. Yikes, not good. He’s done with sex (I would have kept going but oh well). I’m very apologetic and he’s being nice about it but I can tell maybe he’s thrown off? Then, his friend texts him and says he’s on his way. He says it’s fine but I’m like, I should probably leave.
So, I leave, he walks me to the subway (we cross paths with the male friend on the way there so I know that this friend wasn’t an excuse) and then he gives me an awkward hug after what I thought was a great first date and half of really good sex!!
I texted him I got home last night safe and apologized again, and he said it was fine but now I’m wondering, did I fuck it up? Maybe it was just awkward timing for him too with the friend? It’s too bad because I feel like this can easily be overcome! I would love some insight, especially because he hasn’t texted me.
EDIT: Some PM’d me asking if he came. He did not cum and I offered to go down on him as consolation but he did not accept. I can’t tell if he couldn’t understand what I was saying or if the friend was coming or just too much confusion but he must have had crazy blue balls
TLDR; I thought my period was over, there were residuals during sex during the first time, I can’t tell how the guy feels about it despite us having good chemistry
15 comments
I don’t think you fucked up and imo it wasn’t a big deal but obviously I don’t know what this guy is thinking
ok how old are both of you? like if he is 18 he might legitimately not know what to do about this but a dude past his early 20s shouldnt be weirded out
Really shouldn’t be a big deal.
You didn’t fuck up at all. He was literally just grossed out and turned off by it which many men are. Then, there’s some of us that don’t mind any form of sex with a girl on her period so don’t beat yourself up, it’s him not you.
Yeah you didn’t do anything wrong it’s him
He sounds like a loser
He might have preferred to have known prior to have sex and going down on you and all. I guess he should be lucky there was only blood during piv and not while doing oral lol
I wouldn’t have cared and absolutely would have took that blow job. That fucking bastard must be gay. Jk lol
Ah I can relate. Accidental period cunnilingus (whilst losing my virginity decades ago). It‘s really not a big deal, if he’s worth his salt he won’t even mention it. All the best, OP~
Idk, I don’t care about blood (and I’ve eaten out a girl knowing she was on her last leg of her period), but I can get why it may have made him nervous if that was a first for him and why he would just want to chill after. But trust me, this won’t be the last time your period affects sex and that’s perfectly fine and natural. The fact he was relaxed is a good sign too! Maybe a bit immature, but not a horrible response overall.
I remember when my husband (then FWB) had sex for the second time (in the dark) and got my period during sex. We didn’t realize though until he went to move me and we both smelled blood like the fucking shark in JAWS. When we turned on the lights, it was EVERYWHERE (like he was covered, the sheets, everything). It was hugely embarrassing, but we just both went to the bathroom, cleaned up and watched TV/got takeout.
Long story short, if he’s a real man, he’ll shake it off and yall will hopefully have a productive relationship!
People are so mean in these comments and clearly don’t know how a womans body works!
This happened to me a couple weeks ago too, and me and my girlfriends have always noticed are period “comes back” when we have sex (or starts early)!
I was curious so I googled it. If you are a few days from starting or a few days after ending your period, having an orgasm actually causes contractions of the walls and left over or the blood there for your upcoming period is forced out by the contractions when you orgasm.
It doesn’t answer your question – I think men are just weird sometimes and this is a perfectly normal thing that happens during sex sometimes – but I wanted to shed light on why it happened for you and others since I was so curious.
Also worth noting that sometimes it could not be period blood but something like a tear from sex… but I trust that you know your blood (I could def tell the difference I think)!
Also noticing a lot of these comments are from men… ignore them, they legit don’t and can’t be bothered to understand how a woman’s body functions! I’m 23 – and all my friends are too – and this happens to all
of us!
this happened to me (m20) and my gf (f20). We were having sex after her period in the dark and after finishing and turning on the lights i saw my dick was covered in blood. im really grossed out by blood (generally, i get dizzy when i see an open wound) and this really freaked and weirded me out, but because she told me before and i knew what i was getting into i couldn’t be mad at her and we just got washed up and cuddled and went to sleep 🙂
I never much cared, but some guys might be put off. Gotta admit the first time was a little unexpected, but I wasn’t about to turn down a good thing over it.
I don’t think you fucked up. I definitely don’t think you have to apologize for anything. Periods are normal. They personally don’t bother me (*); not everyone has to like them, but the only reasonable approach to them is to accept that they happen and to be a fucking adult about it. I would hesitate about analyzing what all he was thinking, and he might have been reacting to your own squeamishness to the situation too. Honestly I would suggest you stop apologizing and agonizing over that and own the fact that you have a body that has periods from time to time. If he’s not going to be okay with something like that, I call into question if he can really be so great after all. And maybe it was just one of those awkward moments that new people can end up in and doesn’t have to be anything more than that: a moment, and then you move on and find your groove again.
(*) They don’t bother me in that the blood doesn’t bother me, although to be completely transparent here, period sex does sometimes feel different than non-period sex when it’s heavy. And that can impact how enjoyable it it overall. But I still wouldn’t ever turn it down.
I totally understand that while in a relationship this is super common and no big deal but for a first date I could see this throwing someone off. If he pulled out and his dick is covered in blood he probably just freaked out. Plus we don’t know his sexual history and experience so not sure anyone is really at fault here.