I know our worth doesn’t come from being in a relationship but how else do you- men who have never been in one- justify that something deep is not wrong with you?

17 comments

1. This is what confidence is. Not knowing that someone will like you, but knowing that you’re okay if they don’t.

   Your sense of self worth needs **needs** to come from… well.. yourself. What are the things you’re proud of? what are the things you like about yourself? How happy are you in your own company?

2. I’m your age. I’ve never tried honestly. I can’t tell if a girl likes me nor did I ever really get the time for a relationship. I just kept busy on the academic and financial front all this time.

   I do have flaws though. Everyone does. For me, it’s feeling unwanted if I get rejected. It’s almost made me cynical of ever trying to ask a girl out. My only recourse is the arranged marriage system in our culture, but even that’s not an ideal option anymore.

   I do have some female friends, but they’re generally not as close as my male ones and I’m pretty much always stuck in the friendzone.

3. I’ve been in relationships, but nothing lasting more than 6 months, and not for a long time.

   I’m not justifying that something isn’t wrong ….. something is wrong with me; my problem is that I don’t casually date and see how it goes, I only want to be with someone I want to be with. In recent times the few that have fallen into that category haven’t been interested … but a combination of developing feels and unwilling to give up (even when I ***know*** it won’t happen), and not finding anyone else.

   i.e. my problem is I only find interest in out-of-my-league, and am unable to turn off the feels for lost causes.

4. I have this battle with myself all the time. I have been in relationships, but I haven’t had one in years. I know nothing is wrong with me because I’ve come to terms with why I haven’t had a relationship and it’s because I knew I wasn’t ready for one. I worked on myself for a long time and now I feel confident that I want to pursue something like that. Sometimes it comes down to having a self realization. If something actually is wrong, then work towards fixing it.

5. The sole fact that I exist in the first place.

6. I’ve had a good handful of relationships and there is definitely something wrong with me regardless of my current relationship status but I try not to dwell on it or it’ll drive me more insane.

7. I don’t know that I’d call it “wrong”. I am different. I’ve accepted that.

   I put a greater priority on peace and stability than companionship. I didn’t have a lot of peace and stability in my childhood, it’s something I had to work toward and now that I have it, I value it and want to preserve it. I’ve also been comfortable on my own since I was a small child, and looked forward to situations when I knew I’d be alone.

8. I’ve been in 3 and all 3 have ended after 2 years and a month. Starting to wonder if maybe it is me 😂.

9. This is a really weird borderline loaded question, because you’re basically implying that there might be something wrong with men who haven’t been in a relationship.

10. In periods between not being in a relationship (for me its usually a few years), its generally because I am genuinely not looking and feel like I could improve myself.

    Most relationships I’ve been in, happen right away.

    Try, don’t be desperate, and focus on your happiness not based on other people’s thoughts about you.

11. I don’t justify it. I live with it. I am aware that at 25 I have never been in one. Yeah its not the best look but there is nothing I can do to change it. I’m currently working on improving myself and I am aware that I am an approval seeker with many of my other flaws. I recognize it and try my best to fix it. I just hope that I am able to fix it and find her or she finds me before it’s too late and my dream has lapsed of wanting to have a family of my own someday.

12. Ive been there where ur at mentally and im telling u relationships aint all there cracked up to be. Nothings wrong with you its ur not playing the game right. U have to know how to play before ur going to get interest.

    Dont ever think ur worth less because of any reason.

13. If a human being never managed to get into a relationship then something probably is wrong with him/her.

14. I think it’s becoming more normal to not want a relationship or just do your own thing, and that’s great! I’ve been in relationships, marriage, one night stands, every variation of dating, and discovered I’m just not cut out for it, it’s not my thing. I don’t see it as something that is wrong with me though, it’s just not how I’m wired.

    I also think there’s a lot to be said about a person who stays single and explores other things and prioritizes hobbies and learning over dating. People can say it’s weird all they want, but later on down the road when they ask how the person ended up with so much knowledge on all these topics, and had so much fun with all these hobbies and had all this time to travel and enjoy the hell out of life, they didn’t do it by dating. I realize a lot of people have the same outcome dating, but it’s just a lot easier to do solo. Funny thing is now that I’m single and wanting to keep it that way, I have all kinds of married dudes telling me how lucky I am to have the freedom to do whatever I want and go wherever lol but everyone else tells me it’s what I should be striving for.

15. I don’t I just have faith that even if my odds are one in a million of getting on well enough with someone to the point that they want to date me. The number of people who fit that description is equal to the population of a decently sized town.

16. I don’t see how my own personal worth can be tied to anyone besides me. Romance isn’t like a videogame objective you have to clear or else you fail at life, it’s a nice addition should you choose to pursue it.

17. Haha, uh oh!