how do you ask someone sitting alone to sit with them? i get home and promise to myself ill do it the next day, but when i actually get there, i back out every time and it never happens 😭 😭 i guess the main thing im scared of is rejection. sometimes i see them buried into a book or their phone so idk does that mean they want to be alone or…? also what are some convo starters? i usually ask what classes they take and then share mine, but that usually only lasts a few mins. and if it doesn’t work for some reason, how do i not come home feeling all depressed and unmotivated. i always feel so disappointed in myself and don’t want to wake up the next day
2 comments
Maybe talk for a little longer than a few minutes when you are with them. Ask about their hobbies, interests, goals, opinions, etc. Listen and pay attention to what people say. Share those things about yourself when asked. People also subconsciously attach you to the value you bring. The value you bring is a clear, unique, and convincing reason why people will interact with you, let alone do so constantly. So Find ways to add value to their lives. Having In person interactions is the easiest way to stand out from countless people who text or message. People remember and favor in person interactions because of the positive vibes. If your hobbies, skills, talents align with their interests or can help them, bring it up and offer to help them. Finally, learn how to be genuinely busy in your life pursuing your goals and hobbies, while interacting with people on the side. People are hardwired to be repulsed by neediness and desperation and instead gravitate towards those who are self confident and well rounded in life. They want to see active confirmation of you actually doing something in your life other than just talking to them. So chase excellence, not people.
While rejection sucks, not putting yourself out there ends up being harder. It’s okay for things to seem weird or awkward. Start with your basic talk: school, music, hobbies, etc. I like to believe that people are genuinely good, so it shouldn’t matter who you decide to sit with. Be a good person and expect the same in return. Best of luck.