TL;DR I really feel embarrassed writing about this here but I have no one to talk about this that I feel comfortable enough.
So here it goes. My bf and I had sex some weeks ago. He is my first. (im 22). And from what I’ve heard from other people, you generally “prepare” a female before entering her to ease the pain. Well..he didnt. He didnt go down on me and he didnt finger me. Which I thought that the latter was obvious. We just made out a bit, touched me a bit down there and…penetrated.
If it wasnt for his small size, I think I would’ve cried from pain. He is older, experienced (double digit sexual partners) and has been with a virgin before.
I honestly dont know why he chose this route. Or is this normal and im being dramatic? in his defence, he bought lube but never used it so I guess his intention was not to hurt me (even though it really didnt, besides a lot of blood)
4 comments
He may feel you don’t need to, for any unknown reason. But you being virgin, he should make you more aroused, wet and “ready. Which means going down on you. You are right about it, at least in my experience /point of view!
Well that does seem off I’ve only slept with one virgin and I was very careful to make sure she was wet, and I built up slowly oral, one finger, two finger and then my cock.
Sorry your first time was seemingly a bit rushed but glad it didn’t hurt you too much
Just so you now: Being experienced =/= having a high bodycount. Or maybe I should say: being a good and caring lover =/= having a high bodycount.
And yes, it’s essential to make sure that your partner (especially if this person is a virgin) is ready for penetration. So either he is an ignorant and/or egoistical lover OR he just has no clue about female sexuality.
You‘re not being dramatic, but you should have an open and honest discussion with him. If he’s dismissive of your concerns… well, that’s usually not a good sign.
I don’t think there is necessarily a set protocol, but I do think most people who are good lovers communicate to make sure that you like what they are doing/want to do.
In other words, he sounds like he sucks in bed. I would definitely be expecting more attention, especially with someone who claims to be “experienced.” Body count means nothing if you still haven’t learned to please a partner.