I don’t know if it’s empathy or something entirely different but I get too anxious about other people’s problems, especially if it’s a family member or friend. Sometimes even more than they do about their problem. It’s pissing me off because I already have a plateful of my shit to deal with. It keeps me up at night just thinking about it. The worst part is I can’t get myself to talk to them because more detail makes it worse; even if I did, I could not do anything about them at all. It sucks, I can’t help but absorb or mimic other people’s feelings and it’s drastically affecting my life
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Not my monkeys, not my circus. Repeat like a mantra, until it sinks in fully that other people CAN and SHOULD handle their own problems. You gotta trust them to make decisions that they’re responsible for, and come up with their own solutions to their problems.
Liftsomeyhingheavy’s comment is pretty good, but if you feel that you just can’t do it, like I often do, try accepting that those struggles of others exist, try to set up some boundaries or habits of thought like for example if it’s late and you go to sleep, if it pops up tell yourself clearly that it’s nothing you can influence right now, whether you pounder over it right now or not.
Maybe say that you can think about it when you have time, because a tired you isn’t able to help out properly even if you find a way.
That’s something that takes time and a degree of self awareness/ acceptance tho.
You could also try and start a habit of thinking about and planning your day tomorrow already, as detailed as possible, including minor things like bathroom breaks etc.
That helps keep your mind on something else, while sometimes further relaxing you once you’re done, because you got everything planned out. (You don’t have to strictly follow what you planned the night before if that isn’t important for you, it’s more about the feeling of certainty and preparation)
That’s some of the things I do.
It’s also ok to think about it when you have no schedule for the next morning, you can allow yourself to be sad, feel helpless and cry if you feel like it, those are feelings just like happiness or joy, you shouldn’t always suppress them, at least when you’re alone.
Now I’m sorry for the text wall, it’s just a bit of what I’ve accumulated over the years of struggling with it.
Just know that even if it’s annoying and feels negative at times, it’s a good thing to think of others passively like this.
I bet you’re a great person, so don’t worry, it’s ok to push it away sometimes, it’s nothing selfish at all