I worked with this guy five years ago. He had a girlfriend at the time and I was seeing someone, but he always told people he had a crush on me and got jealous when I spoke to others guys.
We both moved on and work completely different jobs now. Everyone now and again he would message me and we’d talk and he’d invite me over and I’d blow him off.
I went through a bad break up and then he messaged me one night if I wanted to do something. I said yes and then blew him off. So I messaged him and we got together and slept together. I had a really good time, conversation just flowed and we talked till 8am.
I accidentally left my jacket there and messaged him to get it. I picked it up, but he didn’t invite me in or ask me to do something. He was very nice and considerate though. He even hinted to a next time but I just feel weird because we clicked so much, why not keep texting me or keep it going?
How do I get him to put in effort? Would it be bad if I text him more or make plans? Does it seem he’s not that into me?
6 comments
You’ve blown him off numerous times and he kept asking you out and now you suddenly have interest so you think he’s just going to put in effort?
He’s put in casual effort all along and you’ve trained him that odds are you’re going to respond by blowing him off. He’s right to be reluctant and take his time and make little effort. You’ve proven yourself unpredictable and high risk. Maybe ask yourself how you can show him that this time you’re not going to say yes then blow him off.
>How do I get him to put in effort?
Start by putting in effort yourself.
Are you kidding? You have blown him off numerous times; shown him you didn’t give a damn about his efforts and now you want them? It doesn’t work that way. You fucked up and now you need to prove that you are worth his effort again. YOU need to put in the effort. Not him.
You have to say words out loud for him to hear them.
Is this a troll post? Lmfao.
“So things were going really well, and I blew him off. Then after that he started to show a lot of interest, so I blew him off. How can I get him to like me more?”
What is happening?
A. You can’t make him do anything.
B. You haven’t earned it. You jerked him around and toyed with his emotions.