I’m 24F, at the end of january I will turn 25. I’m a virgin and I never had a serious relationship. I only have 2 friends and I rarely go out. I had a period from 19 to 23 where I had 0 friends and my family was in a different country so I wasted my time with tv shows and video games. I’m feeling very depressed. I feel like I wasted my youth where I was young and pretty. I feel old now. Do you think I still I have a chance to make things better? I was thinking about going out more and start going to the gym.
8 comments
Do some self improvement and don’t be desperate
Yep you have tons of chances still.
I’m the same – I turn 25f next year, queue the fact that I have distanced myself over the years from friends and created for myself the life of a hobbit!
Follow your heart. I always say think once then do. This goes for starting conversations, walking up in somewhere unfamiliar, giving someone a well-though compliment, booking that hike…
A lot of people in our situation are pretty hard on themselves. Never allow shame or emabarassment to eat you up, enjoy yourself. And if you ever need a common friend come here 🙂
You are never too late to do something better. Start putting efforts into your personality and some productive habits and stay away from things that make you addicted and depressed. Going out more and join gym is a good idea. I recommend you to work on shaping productive and useful habits. Fill out your day with tasks that pull you away from gratification. Social skills , how to interact with people’s and make friends also is crucial part.
Yeah when I was your age I felt the same way and was stuck in that same routine of gaming and things were probably just gonna get worse until I died. Since you say you just watch tv and video games perhaps instead of starting out looking for friends or a relationship you should focus on finding out who you are first. Maybe go out and try different activities, start a new hobby, travel, try new restaurants etc. Basically just start celebrating life.
Chances are from those experiences it’ll make you a better conversationalist and you’ll most likely meet people along the way who share those same passions and from there you can get something started. But the main focus should be about finding who you are and be who you need to be. The relationships should always be a secondary goal in your heart.
Do things in baby steps. It’s about habit building, by habit I mean the things you do automatically.
If you plan to go to the gym, try going once a week for a few months. Ask the staff how to use some machines or Reccomended exercises.
In terms of doing too much indoors stuff, I set myself a timer to stop gaming and do something else, like reading or going for a walk. I kept doing this until I trained my brain to stop gaming for hours on end.
Regarding relationships, make sure you don’t stick with somebody out of fear of being alone. Trust me, I’ve done this and it will only end in heartbreak, regret and bitterness. Take your time, respect yourself, make time for you, and have fun!
Good luck out there.
There’s ton of life left to live my friend! 25 is nothing in the grand schemes of things! Everyone goes at their own pace and these “milestones” we think we must achieve aren’t set in stone! Join a club or a class, talk to your neighbors, and find things you want to do. And when you do meet people, it’s important that *you* like them as well.
Being alone all that time, it might make us bend a bit toward making sure they like us and that we do everything we can so that they *keep liking* us but we also have to make sure the we like the people we surround ourselves with.
Good luck on your endeavor!
I’ve feel like this as well. I also turned 25 this year. It can be tough but the only good option is to try and make things better.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. We all go through shit and have issues. Take one step at a time, and give yourself a pat on the back when you achieve a goal.
Don’t fixate on your lack of relationships. I’ve noticed a lot of women (and some men) tend to fixate on relationships with others and their lack of experience in them can get them down. Although you need these experiences, you may be lacking them due to other issues with your life. Maybe focus on other things like cultivating skills or hitting the gym and some other stuff that can help you in regards to relationships, but also making you a more confident and happy person.
I’m not saying don’t focus on relationships, just try not to fixate on them.