Not fat tho so don’t give me the “hit the gym” advice, also my skin is also fine.

By advice i mean dating advice, interactions with men or people in general.

39 comments

  1. You’re likely fine in regards to looks, just insecure

    So get out of your head and stop living IAW other peoples expectations/beauty standards

  2. Be pleasant. You’re gonna find a dude that’s into what you look like, and you don’t want to drive him away with the craziness of low self esteem baggage.

  3. what do you want advice for? you are going to need to give us more info if you want to make yourself more attractive or feel better about yourself

  4. You need to have hobbies. You need to have interests that make people interested in you. Physical appearance is not the most important thing. Confidence is also important. Stop calling yourself a 4/10

  6. Talk to men. Don’t talk to *women* about men.

    If you’re really a 4, that means unless you’re a complete shut-in, there are men in your social circle who would give you a chance. The problem is none of those men are the men the women around you are talking about (competing over). Cut those women out of the equation (and the 7-9 men they’re all competing over), and you’ll be stunned when you recognize how wide open your field actually is.

  8. I would give anything for a woman to take me as I am. I have no problem attracting women but, they all want me to be more religious, more humble, more etc. more, more, more. It seems like it’s never enough and it sucks.

  9. Well, I can give you some advice. Do you have perfect occlusion (teeth)? If not go to the dentist, usually any degree of malocclusion leads to your face not reaching its genetic potential, like, maybe your maxilla is underdeveloped, or maybe you have an underbite, crossbite, overjet, midline discrepancy, etcetera. Fixing teeth (or usually, the whole face because that’s what orthodontists kind of do) usually improves looks drastically.

    For example, improper teeth balance may lead to you having less lip support, in turn making your lips thinner in a disproportionate way compared with your face. Similarly, an underdeveloped maxilla will make your nose look disproportionate for your face.

    Second, get a general test for your hormone levels (all of the important ones) hormone disbalances can lead to unwanted changes in certain physical aspects.

    Third, check if you have good posture, posture is important for how you appear to other people and improper posture will reflect on your neck and face.

    Fourth, sometimes you must rely on hairstyles/cuts that can create an illusion or mask imperfections.

    Fifth, consider light subtle make-up, I’m aware the ones that look natural are more expensive, try to find something that’s relatively good and not too expensive. With make-up, you can accentuate your best facial features.

    Those are my advice for you

  10. People should really stop rating attractiveness on a scale of 10. If someone told you that you are a 4, I hope their next shit is super painful.

  11. This rating system is in your head only and we all like different things.

    Also, 9s and 10s are not very interesting women and some of us don’t like them outside of Instagram. First, they don’t get to these high scores without dedicating their entire life to looking good. Second, they attract a lot of attention and probably love it, but that can be annoying to the partner. Date a ten and the bros around you start breaking the bro code.

  12. I’ve been in this position as a guy and here’s what I did/do. Decided to focus on what I can control. I did everything I could to improve my physique and general looks, took care of myself, and only cared if I was meeting my own expectations, not other peoples. I accepted my attractiveness level, while also recognizing that there’s an “ass for every seat” and that perhaps someone else might find me quite attractive even if the majority may not feel that way.

    As far as interacting with potential partners, again, I just focused on myself. Decided to feel
    like a success for trying, even if I was ultimately turned down. Made it easy to cultivate confidence and self respect when it was generated by things I can control.

    Anyway, I’m buzzed, long winded and apparently a little philosophical rn lol.

  14. You’d be surprised how many guys don’t talk to females because they are shy, not because they think you’re a 4.

    Also most guys I know hate being told to do anything when a sigh is involved. Ie. Tell me to not throw my clothes next to the hamper or your going to start washing everything with your red bra. Instead of – *huge sigh*”can you NOT thrown your laundry and then not pick it up? The hamper is right here!”

    A joking partner or at least not harsh or negative goes a LONG LONG way.

  17. Probably mean to say it like this but make peace with the idea of only reeling in guys whom you aren’t physically attracted to.

  18. Stop thinking about yourself as a 4. Who gave you that score anyway? Just be pleasant and don’t be afraid to approach guys. That goes a long way.

  19. You should be willing to make the first move. Since you’re unattractive, as you said, you’re not going to have many men going up to you. So if there is someone that might be interested in you, or that you’re interested in, then make it easier for them and make the first move.

  20. I’m not calling you “fat”, you pointed out that you’re not. However, there’s a difference from being skinny versus being in shape / muscular. The latter is more attractive.

  23. Honestly, I know you said this, but hitting the gym ain’t always about weight loss. It’s mostly about having a healthy lifestyle. I can guarantee you, that is the most important thing. Be healthy, clean, learn to enjoy life.

    It seems from your post you have a lot of insecurities, but we all do. Learn to be okay with yourself. I know it sounds so stupid, but it’s honestly the best way to go. I can also guarantee you that faking it till you make it is not only a good way to go about it, but a clever way too. If you are going around putting out the energy of a 4 that’s what you’re gonna get. Chin up, act like a 10 even if you don’t think that you are. Because if you make people believe that YOU think you’re a 10, they will too.

    I went to college before people thought asian men were attractive. I was convinced that not a single person would look my way. But I said fuck it and started acting the way I saw the hot people around me act and it changed so much. When you are confident, and put out good energy, people will naturally gravitate to you

  24. Most people see themselves as less attractive than they are but it’s irrelevant as what one person finds unattractive another will find attractive.

    The woman I’m dating is a perfect example. I find her attractive, a nice combination of cute and sexy, but she’s been told she’s “okay” and things like “well you’re not fat or ugly” by guys she’s dated in the past.

  25. Work on getting more comfortable in your own skin. Most the time gals in your shoes shoot themselves in the foot by pushing guys away. Just way before her looks come into play. Part of that is not taking any advice that involves any sort of personal work as some sort of personal attack. Lots of guys in the same situation try to cover all the bases that they can, I do not know why some women don’t think that they should be doing the same.

  26. Someone else commented that you should lower your standards. I say you should *raise* your standards – find someone who has a good heart & looks past the superficial. Start conversations with people you find interesting. If it doesn’t result in a date, use it as a learning experience to prepare you for the next conversation, and the one after that. Overall, work on developing good friendships. Sometimes, a relationship can form from one of those.

  27. Currently infatuated with a woman who isn’t super attractive physically but her charisma, humor, confidence and the way she carries herself is out of this world. These things go a lot further than nice tits & ass.

    Stylish clothing is available to anyone.

    Wear a small amount of really nice perfume (one squirt is enough)

    Make playful comments.

    Be sporty, and proud of your achievements.

  28. Be nice and intelligent. All the “unattractive” women with partners that i know are like that

  29. Just be you and confident in it. Honestly numbering systems are relative to the scale you wish to accept.

  30. I wouldn’t focus too much on looks, consider the guys that are going to focus on that bullets dodged, someone who cares about who you are is going to be 100% more important and worth your time, now whether or not you click is a whole other story

  34. I give this same piece of advice to guys who can’t find a girlfriend – find an activity you can absorb yourself in. For you it could be running, auto maintenance, ham radio, anime/comic book culture, literature. It can be anything but should lead to interaction with the opposite sex.

    Get something that will result in being at social events with guys. You’ll meet a lot of guys and not all of them will be potential mates. Don’t view all of them as such. Just focus on building aspects of yourself that have more depth than “F seeking M”. You’ll meet guys whom you’re not attracted to, or who are not attracted to you. They are still potential friends and can introduce you to other guys.

    The worst case – you met absolutely zero guys interested in you – still means you find an activity you can enjoy and are passionate for. Making yourself more interesting (and approachable) should be worth more to a worthy guy than physical appeal.

  35. The fact that you’re “not fat” doesn’t mean huh shouldn’t hit the gym. Being in good shape and healthy makes anyone more attractive.

  36. For men, there are generally some pretty steep standards that many women set and can’t be met in a reasonable time. Height is impossible. Fitness can take years of focus. Women are very selective.

    As a result of this, men are much less selective than you think. If you’re not fat, you have a waist. That makes you at least above average if you dress appropriately. You don’t need other strong assets as men have very diverse tastes but generally agree that having a wide waist is undesirable. Exceptions exist, but they aren’t the average guy.

    We don’t care about your skin, makeup, hair, or accessories as much as women. You do all of that stuff because women tell you that it matters. It only matters to them. Men don’t care about your necklace, nails, lips, forehead, or even skin conditions. Even obviously bad acne or discoloration is not usually an issue in attraction. We’ll gladly greet you anyway, but if you shy away from everyone and don’t get out there, no one will approach you.

    If you’re really not getting any men to approach you, consider a gentle perfume, showing a little cleavage in a classy way, and some legs. Make sure your breath smells clean. If you have hygiene issues, they’ll make you unattractive.

    Most importantly, you may consider taking charge of the interaction. If they aren’t approaching you, be the one who approaches. Be direct. Ask if you can buy him a drink. Being forward is sexy, and men will fall over themselves when they realize you’re hitting on them. None of us, no matter how good we look or smell, gets that kind of attention. We have to make the approaches and put ourselves out there. It’s exhausting, even if we’re good at it. If someone average or below average came up to me and started a conversation, I’d go with it.

  38. Not fat != fit. You’ll look better if you’re fit, so hitting the gym is still good advice.

    If I was an unattractive woman My strategy would probably be to be incredibly fit, good with makeup/clothes, and go after well-paid dorky guys who probably don’t get much play but are decent and make good money.

Leave a Reply
You May Also Like