i noticed lately it is wrong to say female or girl on alot of forums.
I’m not native english so I don’t really get why female would be condescending or de-humanising.
Also in my language the equivalent of woman or man is more fitting to someone who is +30 and has kids. Im 25 and i would refer to myself as a “guy” rather than a “man”, why would it be wrong to refer to a 25 year old woman as a “girl”. So for alot of non native english speakers the solution is easy, you say male or female. but when you do you get scolded.
Why is that ?
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Because “male” and “female” could apply to any living things, if you’re talking about humans there are other words, namely man and woman. At 25 you wouldn’t call yourself a “boy,” so don’t call a woman that age a girl.
The female equivalent of “guy” is “gal”, not “girl”. “Girl” is specifically for children.
Female = Adjective, “female friend”, “female coworker”, etc. Don’t use it as a noun like “females work at my business”
Girl and woman just depend how close you are with the person.
I know your pain, I didn’t grow up in the States either. Different people will tell you different things. Female is used in a very official sense. Like a report, i.e., “tall female, dark hair, mid 40’s”
Woman is just the general term. Girl is perfectly fine for a woman in her 20’s unless you’re specifically told otherwise. Although **only** in an informal setting. Nobody uses “gal” unless you’re in a Western movie. Girl is a perfectly fine equivalent to “guy.”
You should be fine as long as you don’t say “females” bc that’s rude
Have had women, especially in 20s, get offended by calling them women because they associate it with older ladies, similar to “Ma’am”. They preferred the term girl, which i always associated with females under 18.
Long story short, you can’t please everyone.
Alternatively for “women” you can use Lady and Ladies. It’s a bit less harsh-sounding in cases where you’re more familiar and want to be respectful of a group of women.
As i get older i feel weird calling women, girls, but i feel weird saying oh that lady/women over there, too especially when they’re the same age or younger than me. To be fair tho, i hear alot of women use the term girl to describe themselves and others so i don’t think it’s a big deal. I usually do try to use lady or women more often tho, but i also say chicks when im talking to a friend.
Generally, the rule is that you should use the same type of word to describe both genders. You can use guy/girl, boy/girl, man/woman, or male/female. But some of those pairs only make sense in certain contexts.
“Guys” and “girls” talking about young, usually single, adults is OK in informal settings. But using “men” and “girls” in the same context is offensive. Using “girls” in a professional setting is almost always bad, i.e. “this company has been hiring more girls.”
Female as a noun is usually offensive unless you are in a scientific, medical, military, or law enforcement setting. “Stroke risk is higher in females over 65” and “The perpetrator was a 25 year old male” are acceptable, while “I was talking to this female last night” is not.
Female as an adjective is fine, as long as you’re using it in a fairly equal way. “Female programmers are relatively rare in tech” is an OK statement. But saying “female programmers are not as easy to find as men” just sounds grammatically and socially wrong.
Hope that helps clarify. It sounds confusing at first, but it’s mostly just trying to treat people equally, and being sensitive to how things come across to people who have been devalued through language for a long time.
“Girl” if you’re friends with the person.
Woman in every other context.
“Woman” and “girl” are better words because they are more specific. When you hear those words you know a human of a certain gender and age range is being mentioned. With “female,” you need additional context. Are we talking about a giraffe or a sparrow or a person or what?
For anyone 18+ just use woman please thx!
Always felt “gal” was the female version of guy, not sure why girl is
Lady is another term for an 18+ woman. Girl/girls can be used for people you’re close to, or my wife might for for a “girl’s night” with some friends (Ladies’ night also works), but in less close or professional relationship I’d stick to women or ladies.
A lot of it is societal/contextual and I see many have already given you responses on when each term is best used. The reason it can be touchy to use “female” or “girl” sometimes isn’t bc it’s grammatically wrong, it’s more bc they’ve been used in a degrading and sexist manner. “Female” usu comes across as significantly more clinical, and as such in casual conversations can be perceived as intentionally alienating. It kind of feels like the speaker is drawing a line of the “us vs them” sort of thing, and is typically used in a dehumanizing tone. “Girl” is often used to describe prepubescents/adolescents. This one isn’t as weird as using “female” casually, but it can often used to infantilize/belittle fully grown women. Be careful esp if you refer to adults present as both “men” and “girls” in the same conversation, as the contrast in implied maturity is often super intentionally obvious. Most people don’t often notice or care about these terms in everyday conversation; it’s more that it unconsciously pings as a potential red flag bc sexist jerks use this language a LOT to subtly degrade others. It’s just an example of stuff that is tracked and can add up towards recognizing someone as such. I hope this was helpful/made sense!
I still call myself a girl and I’m middle aged :/. Maybe it’s just wishful thinking and I wish I were younger!
Girl – Referring to a juvenile female/underaged female/child. Similar to “Boy”. Do not call a grown adult woman a girl. It’s annoying.
Female – This is the anatomically correct term. This is what you use if you’re referring to their assigned sex, but it’s dehumanizing to *casually* refer to women as females. (because any animal or organism can be a female. A woman is a human). Do not use during casual conversation. I only use this term when it is scientifically appropriate, Ie, on medical forms or if the context is purely scientific (in research studies, etc).
Woman – An adult female. A female over the age of 18. This should be your go-to term when referring to women.
Calling a full grown adult woman a “girl” is extremely annoying, as a woman myself. We are not children. You wouldn’t call a 27year old man a Boy, would you? It’s the same concept. Boy & Girl both specifically refer to juveniles.
You get ,,scolded” because women are uncomfortable being referred to as children.
I use the term “ladies”, but honestly I feel like “girls” is just the female version of “guys” so I’m not offended by it.
I only use gender specific language when it’s relevant. While we’re on the subject of language “alot” is two words: a lot is correct.
Because it sounds like you’re referring to an animal
After reading these comments I’ve suddenly lost all confidence in the advice offered in this sub
I think what a lot of people are missing is that in young social groups its guys and girls.
As another comment mentioned, the use of girls in place of young women is all over popular culture.
A lot of language is racist or misogynistic in construction, but certainly not intent. You can argue that you shouldn’t say “my wife” because she’s not your property, but it’s normal and common all the same.
I would use girls and women and female as many have requested here whenever I’m writing or among professionals or strangers.
I would also be more inclined to not assume any who use the term girl or female on social media to be a misogynistic bastard, because the word has a different meaning conversationally, for better or for worse.
Now imagine using female or girl in a work email – it just naturally sounds wrong. “We can give this stack of shirts to to all the females at the conference”. Female customers, though, that sounds normal. Girls? Mega creepy.
Age doesn’t decide, maturity and experience does.
“Female” is more professional – paramedic describing a patient as “34 year old female.” “Woman” and “girl” depend on their age. I guess the first one is more formal, and the last two are informal, but they’re dependent on the person’s age.
Use the same energy for females that you do for males. When referring to non-specific age, use male/female. When under 18, use girl/boy. Over 18, use men, women, guys, gals, ladies, gentlemen. It is disrespectful and perpetuating the misogynistic society by calling a full grown adult woman a girl. Some will disagree and say it doesn’t matter, but it does. If you use the term “guy” instead of “boy” don’t use “girl” when referring to an adult woman
It really depends on the type of ppl you’re around. Some ppl clearly have an issue with “female” and take it to mean something specific. Some are fine with “girl” whereas the *women* I’ve known would say “There are no girls here. I’m a woman.”
It depends on the ppl and context. There’s no right answer here.
ETA: If you’re unsure, ask the person which they prefer. I have and it’s safer. “So, do you care if I refer to you as “girl” or do you want me to call you “woman? “
Starting a petition to bring back “gal”
Just use “lass”
Thank you
Generally you’re good if you use female as an adjective and woman as a noun, ie. “there are more female doctors than ever” and “that doctor is a woman”.
With regards to girl I would generally reserve that for women under the age of 18. There’s some leeway for people using it for 18+ women in friendly, informal settings, but if you’re in doubt I’d avoid it.
Never use “female” as a noun.
“Greetings Females!” *sips Mountain Dew from a martini glass*
Male and female is often used to describe animals or in formal settings. Most people do not perceive it as a humanizing term which is why it is considered rude. In English, anyone 18+ is a man or a woman. Anyone under 18 is a boy or a girl. People don’t like it when you call a 25 year old woman a girl because it is seen as a sign of disrespect. That you think she is a child.
We’re taught to refer to gender as male/female in the military. I always thought it was to not offend someone by calling them a boy or girl.
I like to use the term female. I am a female myself 😁
Female is when talking about the entire group. Girl when talking about under 18 and/or immature females. Women when talking about over 18 and/or mature females.
Infantilization is why it’s wrong to call a 25-year-old woman a “girl“.
In different settings, some grown women don’t mind being called girls. But to be on the safe side, use “girl” for a child and “woman” for a grown-up.
you almost never want to say female when referring to a human unless it’s in like a medical setting or as an adjective. Like female pilot or female doctor or something like that might be OK, but just saying “females” instead of “women” generally has very negative connotations.
i just call everyone dude now. it’s too complicated.
I am an English speaking, adult woman. I have responded to a few posts on Reddit by starting with “as a female” and for whatever, people get uppity about it. Turns out, what doesn’t offend me AT ALL, drives other people crazy.
My point is, you can’t make everyone happy all the time. Try your best, if someone gets offended, just say that you meant no offense.
Some people just want to be angry these days.
Female is more a biological word than a social word in English. Like you don’t go around saying “What’s up, my males!” You would say a socially casual word like “My dudes” “My guys”, etc. And Woman is more formal/mature so I would save that for anyone above 30. Girls/boys is the most common way to refer to gender, but really any adult girl is a woman.
The reason it’s dehumanizing is because male/female has a scientific context. If a girl is talking about guys and she says “guys are all jerks” that’s a pretty normal statement, even though it’s generalizing. But if she said “Males are all jerks” it really wouldn’t hit right. You would expect the word ‘male’ to be followed by more sophisticated or scientific words. Like “Males tend to have higher testosterone levels than females.” That’s the proper context to use female/male.
If you went around saying “I don’t understand why females don’t like me” it sounds like you think of females as a different species than you or something. People don’t want you to focus on their gender, they want you to get to know them and be treated equally. So if you constantly think of someone as ‘female’ and therefore different from you and perplexing, then you will always feel out of touch with women.