I met this girl (Let’s call her R) at a welcome week event for my college over two weeks ago.
For context, I am a student who moved to a new town a little while ago to start my year-long graduate degree. R is also in the same grad program as I am.
I met R at a welcome event through the program’s groupme and we had a lot of fun together! We played bingo together, had some food in the Union, and really struck up a fun conversational relationship. R then said she wanted to go and I respected that. I got her number and snap before she left and we were on good terms.
We text like 5 or 6 days a week talking about schools and what our undergrads were like. We also talked about movies, where we were from, how things were like growing up.
I then I get the idea to ask her out to a nearby restaurant for a weekend some time later through text. After my first week, I set up the time and place and texted R the info, only for her to respond with “I have sport practice every Sunday.” I responded with how Saturday would be a better day and then she doesn’t respond anymore.
That Friday though, I was at a pub with some other new friends I met, and I just happen to see R again with one of her other friends. I decided to stay behind while the other friends left, and talked with her and her friend a little more. R then says to me 30-45 minutes later that her “friend was feeling too drunk” so she was going to “take her home.” I believed her and decided to stick around the bars a little more.
I go into another bar further down the street and happen to see R and her “drunk friend” still enjoying themselves while they both still looked relatively sober. I considered this strike one. I kept watch on them both throughout the night from afar, but that changed once I lost sight of her 30 minutes later due to the large crowd. I soon gave up on looking and left. Not that it mattered because seeing her there after telling me she was getting her drunk friend home confirmed that she lied.
Another week passes and it’s the Thursday before this Labor Day weekend. I texted her about setting up a new time to meet up, but she says that “one of her friends from her undergrad is coming over” and that they’ll both go to a major city for the entirety of Labor Day weekend.
I was remembering this yesterday and decided to see where she was via the map location feature snap has since I added her snap before. To my anger, I saw that R was still right here in town and nowhere near in any major city. Strike two and the second confirmed lie.
If we ever do plan a date, I want to talk to R about it because I want to know her honest reasoning behind doing what she did. I don’t want there to be anything she keeps hidden, but I realize that’s mostly impossible.
Regardless, I grew furious with her lying to my face twice, and I’m still pretty angry and upset typing this post, but what should I do? I know you’ll probably say move on, but where can I go to find a girl? I don’t know anyone on campus, so where the hell would I start?
Please give me some advice on this because I’m getting more of the belief that girls only want you for your money or convenience. Nothing more. I’m losing the belief of there being good women out there, so please convince me otherwise.
11 comments
You already know the answer. Just delete this and quit acting dumb.
Youre giving her creeper vibes and i clearly see why
She’s obviously not into you. Cut your losses
I’ve got some bad news for you. The pub thing was like…a CLEAR signal she wasn’t interested.
I think your opinion on yourself and women is impacting your interactions with them. If you think girls only want you for money or convenience you are going about this all wrong.
Girls want confident men who can handle rejection first of all. The misconception about women wanting money is actually women wanting men who are successful. That success would normally be translated into money, but not always. You can be a successful school teacher with passion in their life and be incredibly attractive.
Get in shape if you aren’t already. Look good and you will feel better about yourself. Get over this “nice guy” deal with women you have going. Work on yourself whether that be hobbies, careers, side hustles, or whatever. THEN you will find yourself in a position where YOU are the catch and dating will be much different.
Think about why you are pursuing her when she’s clearly avoiding you.
Sounds like she likes you in general but is not interested in anything more, but doesn’t have the guts to tell you straight to your face. When I met a guy in a bar and wanted to get rid of him, the easiest way was to tell him I’d be going home with my friend who is tired or sick or any reason why i really had to go with her.
>I want to know her honest reasoning behind doing what she did.
*Moving too fast, her way of slowing things down is to avoid you.* Really, it’s that simple.
She sees no harm in such ‘white lies’ and would rather not say to your face that she’s seeing/hearing too much of you for fear of that hurting you (and, any long term relationship potential between the two of you).
Hate to break it to you, but she doesn’t want your time, money, or convenience and you are being really creepy. Leave her alone. Learn to read the room or you’re going to end up accused of stalking or sexual harassment. Also, it sounds like you need to do some inner work before finding a girl. Maybe try to make some friends first.
You ask again and again cause you fail to see the ‘not interested’ flare.
If a girl says she busy when you invite her and she doesnt provide a concrete alternative date she ain’t into you.
I think that you should talk to more girls than just R. She seems to not be interested which is okay. She also seems like she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings and that’s why she’s not telling you the truth. Not every girl will be interested but you will find someone if you move on and keep looking. She’s not a representative for the entire gender!
Yuk, yuk and yuk. These yuks are all for your creepy behaviour. This girl owes you nothing. “Strikes”!! You really need to do some growing up