How do you deal with feelings of inadequacy in a relationship?

4 comments

1. I always feel this. I always feel mentally broken and think my wife shouldn’t have to deal with me.

2. If you genuinely feel this way, she won’t be your GF for long.

   This is the truth of the matter.
   A healthy woman has no interest in an insecure man unless it’s offset with enormous wealth etc.

   So what gets you most? Feeling you’re not good enough? Or the prospect of your girlfriend walking because you’re busy thinking your aren’t enough and neglecting what you actually have with her there.

   Wake up. Start acquiring some hard skills along with building your relationship.

   Lack confidence? Find an MMA gym and start training.

   You can’t think you’re not good enough and that you can do better at the same time.
   This is mindfuckery that will drive you crazy.

   What do you want out of your relationship? What do you want for yourself?

   Set your sights and make a tangible plan.

3. Here’s my understanding of these things…

   Feelings of inadequacy or not feeling good enough means you have a poor image of yourself. I can tell you tend to be hard on yourself because you say you’re doing your best. The voice in your head that beats down on you is not your true voice, it could be your father’s, your mother’s, or any number of terrible people who’ve severely impacted your life. Could also be societal influence. In order to love yourself more and feel worthy, you have to believe that your best is good enough. It starts by asking what if questions. What if my best was good enough? If there were times you feel regret for your actions but you tried your best, it is because you felt like you should’ve known better. But the reality is, you probably didn’t know better at the time. Believing this absolves you of the guilt, shame, or regret you may feel.

4. This is where communication is so important. Talk to her. Sit her down and tell her, “Baby, I love you so much and I just want to make you happy and do right by you. Is there anything you need from me? Any needs not being met? Any thing that I can do better?”

   Now, you are going to have to be willing to be open and honest with yourself for this to work, but I am willing to bet she is gonna tell. you everything is just fine. Crazy people don’t know they are crazy, hence, the fact that you are even questioning means you should be wonderful.