Does anyone else struggle with this in the dating world and do you have any strategies on how to cope with it?
For example, a girl I recently hooked up with has rejected me by saying she just wants to be friends. I was very interested in her when I first met her, but that waned quickly as she became very hot and cold towards me for months, and in my head I had “moved on” and stopped giving her any attention, stopped trying to contact her etc. Then she threw herself on me at a party after I had been avoiding her, we hooked up, both said we had fun together and were keen to do it again.
When it came around to getting together again though, she changed her mind and said she just wanted to be friends. And and now I’ve been obsessing and ruminating over everything that’s happened between us in the last few months and thinking there are things I should have done differently.
Now I’m self-aware enough to know that I don’t actually have feelings for this girl – I never wanted to date her to begin with because I hardly know her and she only liked me when she was drunk, wouldn’t give me the time of day sober. I know I don’t have any other options at the moment and that’s why I’m fixated on her, but it’s my own fault for not really putting myself out there much. I know that I’ve been lonely lately and that it felt good to have some intimacy again, again that’s probably why I’m fixated on her. I know that my ego is probably throwing a bit of a tantrum because I didn’t expect her to reject me after we hooked up.
I’ve been through situations similar to this a few times before with other girls and can look back and laugh at how silly I was to waste so much time/emotional energy ruminating over them. And yet here I am, in the exact same situation and I can’t stop thinking about her, please help.