Is it normal for NO ONE to be interested in you (male)

9 comments

1. To answer the question in your title. It’s absolutely perfectly normal to me. Then again, I also have absolutely no self confidence or self esteem. I’m also incredibly senf conscious about everything negative I perceive about myself and feel it absolutely oozes out of me and suffer from fairly severe depression. Though I’ve been told by most people in my circle and met casually that I carry myself quite well and they aren’t able to see most of the things that I perceive to be readily visible to others. Then again I also have social anxiety and don’t really try to go out and meet new people so there’s that. Working on self improvement where I can and that’s all I can really recommend. If you see an imperfection in yourself, just either accept and own it, or take small steps to improve that thing about yourself. Then again, I don’t know what people want or are looking for and am currently rambling so take this whole thing with a grain of salt I guess. In any case, hope things turn around for you.

2. It is for men, that’s just how it is. Especially if you’re not among the most attractive then it’s like playing a game with all the disadvantages turned on and it sucks, you’ll also get zero sympathy from anyone. If anything they’ll all tell you that you’re the problem so that’s fun.

   Godspeed my dude, but honestly I’d say get used to it cuz shit is pretty standard by now.

3. >Approached a girl, kept asking questions and she replied to each one and then she just stopped talking after that (I had nothing to work with so I just assumed she was not interested).

   You’re going to have to lead the conversations, especially in the beginning. Her attraction to you might work differently than yours to her – it might take minutes of conversation for her to start being interested in you back. Of course, only carry on the conversation if she doesn’t look uncomfortable.

   It reads like you interrogated her interview-style until you ran out of questions. It takes a more socially elegant approach to make a quality conversation out of nothing. But that is very difficult. Being the initiator is tough and not having to be one is privilege. Don’t feel too bad! It’s a skill you’re going to have to learn.

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   >Meanwhile I never received signals of interest from any woman.

   Three possible reasons:

   1. No woman is interested in you (very unlikely)
   2. You do not have the know-how to identify the cues
   3. No woman has shown her interest to you – and this is unfortunately a cultural thing. I can travel to a neighbor country and get plenty of signals, but in my home country I rarely ever get one

4. You need to be approaching all the time. I’ve approached probably close to 100 women in the last week. I think I got maybe 3 phone numbers (only 1 replied and they live far), made out with one girl, and hooked up with another. Out of 100, and I consider myself fairly good looking.

   > Started online dating and basically swiped right on every woman in a 70 mile radius. Managed to meet a girl from a foreign country, no green card and her english was not that great, no drivers license. She didn’t seem interested in me at all and just wanted to use me as a taxi and possibly even green card marriage, who knows. I broke it off for fear of that happening.

   This kills your ELO. When you swipe right on everyone, the apps bury you and no one sees your profile. Delete your accounts and make new ones in a week or whatever you need to do to reset it (search about it). Swipe right very selectively, the ones you like and the ones you think would like you.

   > And that’s about it. I’m still doing online dating and casting a wider net now. I probably get a reply in 1 out of 100 women and then they ghost me after a day. Other than that I hired a hooker once.

   Well you need to have a better opener maybe, and let them text you back every time you text them, and text them in the same amount of time they text you (unless they say a lot or are real about it).

   > Approached a girl, kept asking questions and she replied to each one and then she just stopped talking after that (I had nothing to work with so I just assumed she was not interested).

   If they aren’t being interesting, break off immediately. Don’t keep hounding them. Walk away, and come back when you have something interesting to stay (or just move on). Nothing wrong with introducing yourself, saying hello and getting a name, and then backing off and coming back later.

   > Am I just not trying hard enough? I’m 5 foot 8 and not good looking

   Hit the gym, be social and charismatic and popular by being outgoing and knowing everyone in the room wherever you go.

   Approach approach approach, practice practice practice.

   When I first became single after a long relationship, I was 130lbs, zero fitness, nothing interesting to me, no money. I had a theory it was just a numbers game.

   Went to an anime convention, said hi to every girl in costume and asked to get a picture, and said something about hey want to meet my friends we’re hanging out in the city. I went up to hundreds of women who said no, but finally one said yes. This smoking hot cuban model, I got her number after 10 minutes of walking and talking, or rather, my friends walking and talking to make me look good while I said pretty much nothing. Met up that night to dance, and she took me home to her skyscraper penthouse.

   Absolute dime of a girl, only a few more times in life have I met up with anyone that gorgeous, but my theory worked!

   After that experience I was like wow being single is so easy and fun and… certainly had a much harder time replicating that success, definitely was some major beginner’s luck there, but I have replicated it.

   Anytime I see a pretty girl, anywhere, I approach them (service industry/people working I leave alone or be much more cautious about my approach). I make a point to. It’s practice. Usually I just say hi and say something topical and leave immediately if they don’t show interest, but if they do, I keep going until I run out of things to say at which point I leave (to come back later) or swap contact.

5. >Is it normal for NO ONE to be interested in you (male),
   >
   > I did get many glares of disgust though.

   Yes that’s normal for someone who is not good looking and whose description of previous interactions with women give of major vibes of being socially awkward and maladapted.

6. Just goes to show you that how women have it easy when it comes to dating.

7. 100% normal for me and I’m 35. I have more time spent deployed overseas than I do in all my relationships combined

8. Yes

9. Better give up on hopes, bro.

   If it comes, good, if not, you will be ready to live your life.