It’s like (some) but a good number of married women do it. Even if their marriage is toxic. They’ll sometimes scoff at single women and flaunt having husbands. I think my mom even does this sometimes. I’m only 22 and I’m not seeing the benefits of marriage. I’m under the impression husbands cheat more than boyfriends. My sister is 23 and married and they seem happy I guess. Why do many married women do this?
10 comments
Sadly, to many women, having a man – any man is better than being single.
Society tells women their biggest worth is being attractive to men and being chosen by a man.
Then they enter to a relationship, society is thrilled and that feeds their ego.
And if the relationship / partner didn’t turn out to be all that they hoped for, but they are scared or too poor to leave, they have to convince themselves it’s all worth it and that’s when they get really vocal towards single women.
Same thing happens in motherhood and looking down on childfree women.
There are strong balanced women who are married / have kids and are genuinly supportive of women who make other choices, they may be in a minority, but they are the one’s worthy being friends with.
It’s simply what society has taught women. We grow up being taught that marriage is very important and stuff and hence it becomes kind of a shock when a woman says she doesn’t wanna get married or have kids.
Low self esteem. Lack of self validity and seeks it outside of herself. Some have been raised to idolise marriage as some form of status accomplishment. They care more about how being ‘taken’ looks to others. They feel it adds value because someone else ‘wanted’ them enough to marry them. It’s usually rooted in just not really liking themselves. They prioritise desirability as some form of currency
Truly happily married women see it as being with someone they love. It’s not some hierarchical accomplishment. Just something that happened as part of their journey
In depends where you live, in the west, marriage IS NOT seen as important, but being in a relationship is, which I think the difference needs to be made. Anybody for all intents and purposes can get a partner but very few will successfully maintain a marriage.
With that said, I do find it funny how once before marriage was seen as important and now “just having a man”, is good enough, gotta lower the bar I suppose. But with the introduction of the modern woman or “strong independent woman” era, more and more women look at the women who want to be married or push marriage as “weak”, “low self esteem”, “they need a man for validation.
All I will say is this, marriage or a relationship is not easy especially when children are involved. I actually believe the women or men(usually women) that do this should be proud and respectfully promote their milestones. However I do not believe men or women should look down negatively on those who are single.
Food for thought, many women who flaunt at other women or scoff because of what they have or can do, being “strong and independent”, access to a many men, not needing a man or have to be “tied down”. Guess what, the vast majority of them are single.
Which group is in the wrong? Keep in mind this mentality exists for both men and women in different ways.
Probably for lack of anything else to talk about. Marriage isn’t super interesting and for my husband and I it feels exactly the same as it did when we were dating and/or engaged. Literally the only difference is I have had to change my name which is more annoying than it is anything else
Think of how marriage has been viewed within culture originally it was a buisness transaction I’m worth the expense of keeping me. Although this isn’t how it’s framed now it’s not really surprising this culture of marriage equals worth has continued.
Out of fear, I believe. There is still stigma towards older single women and, once married, I’ve noticed a lot of women will put up with a lot to avoid becoming divorced and stigmatized by others because of it. So one of the thing people do when (they perceive to be) stuck in a bad situation is rationalize it. They’ll say things like “well my marriage makes me unhappy but it could be worse, I could be divorced”. It’s a way to soothe themselves and be able to live with the situation.
Well, my sister only got married at 50. You only do it when the time is right, and with the right person. And scrolling through this sub it seems quite a few people rushed into it or were pressured even.
So, only do it if the situation presents itself. I sure as hell didn’t want to be married at 22. Too many horror stories. But I did meet a person who I’ve been with for 21 years, but it was the right person at the right time.
So short answer is do not rush into it. Especially at 22. So you’re correct in your thinking from my point of view.
Fun fact: you were 1 years old when I met my wife. Congrats on making this internet stranger feel old 🙂
same way single women brag bout being single and not wanting marriage. people like to validate their decision making and make other feel bad. i see single women doing it more than married women. but alot of times it comes from the fact that they do not qualify for the man they want not that they are choosing to be single. overall both sides do the same thing
I believe this happens when people consider marriage as some kind of status symbol and a contractual trade of values while treating spouses as a commodity. Result of decades of ideological indoctrination in the spirit of materialism and consumerism.