I (24f) have formed a crush on my coworker (38m), as for the age difference I’ve never been into older men whatsoever because typically that would make me feel weird but you would never think he would be 38, I was really surprised when I found out.
Anyways, as of 3 months ago him and his s.o ended their 5 year relationship. Yes, a long time. I guess they were having a lot of disagreements, didn’t want to live in the same places and I guess she started to see a woman recently.
I haven’t liked someone in a long time, nor was I planning to. I’ve kept to myself a lot this year, that goes for dating and friendships. I’m not naive and would never let myself truly fall for someone who was subconsciously looking for an emotional backup. I know that the breakup is fresh, and even if his ex has moved on doesn’t mean he will. I 100% would rather not try to know him further now and wait until later, I definitely don’t think now is the time to try anything. Maybe in a few months give or take I’ll really try, since I want to try to form a genuine connection.
There are a few reasons why I wonder if he genuinely has interest in me rather than just taking his time to flirt. He texts me to ask how I am, what I’m up to, tells me he’s always happy when I’m working. We get along so well, we have the same sense of humor. When we look each other in the eyes there just feels like a connection could be there, not just flirting. Today we were hosting together at my restaurant and he came in with an extra burrito for me from a sandwich place next door that’s pretty pricy.
Then on the other hand, he did just have a fresh breakup… and there was one time he sexually flirted with me over text… (it was one very light message about helping me stretch, I forget the whole convo) yet, even it being one time put me on edge because I’m not trying to hook up. I don’t want to be an emotional or physical backup. I know what I deserve and I think if it happens it happens, if it doesn’t it doesn’t. I don’t want to try to push the envelope, and I don’t want to get handed the wrong cup of tea trying to get to know him better.
I’d prefer for this to take its sweet time, but I also don’t want to waste my time getting to know him either. I have a fear of someone just wanting someone out of me, wish it was easier to read another person.
1 comment
You seem to have found the answer yourself dear. Just take as much time as you want, if youw ant to be flirtatious, you can be so and that doesnt mean you are lookign for a hookup or that you will go inmidietly into a relationship. Just enjoy the time together and see where this goes, if youa re nto confortable whit things goign too fast you can go slower, im sure he is aware of needing time to move on, how long is something only he can know.
Dont overthink this too much and just let thigns flow naturally, otherwise you will most likely start to feel unconfortable whenever he talks to you thinkign he wants something from you.