So recently I (F) did it with my Bf of >2 years. It was consensual, but since it was my first time and kinda in the moment we didn’t have lube at hand only condoms. It was my first time and I’m his second partner but from what I know, he’s only did it a few times before and it was years ago.
What happened was that it didn’t really work, he was not able to put it in, and we took like 1 to 2 times more to be able to put it in properly. But even so, because of the positioning and angle, he wasn’t really able to thrust, and for all the times we tried so far, he lost the mood after a while and requested to stop and he couldn’t really stay hard.
Since the last time we did it (I’m not sure its even considered done because so far we’ve only managed to put it in and barely any thrusting), I’ve been trying to find solutions to improve so that the quality of our sex life will be better. I found out that our difficulty might be because of the height difference and that he’s slightly overweight, and I’ve talked to him about it and we can try it in different positions. The only position he’s been able to put in the full length is when he’s standing at the edge of the bed and I’m lying down facing him with my legs propped up on his shoulders.
Because we don’t stay together and we’re both busy with work, we can only have sex once a week. However I’ve realised that since we had sex the first time two weeks ago, he has never initiated sex or the talk about it. I’m pretty sure he’s into it because I’ve asked him explicitly if he wants to have sex with me and he gave me a clear answer yes. But his passiveness has been eating at me for a while because he didn’t really seem to enjoy the sex when we’re at it on top of him not really trying to do something about it, and when I press him during an argument yesterday, he confessed that because of the condom (I’m not taking other birth controls coz of health issues) and his death grip, he couldn’t really feel much because his dick is not very sensitive.
Now I’ve already knew about that for a while because he brought this up long ago when I first started to give him blowjobs but he always had to jerk himself off to finish, but I didn’t expect it to still be a problem because he promised to change his habits. But since we had the conversation, I can’t help but think that his passiveness to not even initiate sex is because he didn’t really enjoy it, and this breaks me because I’ve never had much self confidence and I was a virgin before we did it last two weeks, and I can’t help but worry about how our sex life is going to proceed from now on.
He loves me a lot and we’re in a steady relationship and we want to get married. Nothing else is wrong in our relationship but I don’t know what to do about our sex life, I definitely do not want to break up with him over this because I believe that sex is something we should work on together, but I’m still emotionally hurt over the argument and have been avoiding him because I don’t know how to handle this topic. Would like some advice on how to handle this because he’s my first sex partner and I don’t want to mess up.
TLDR: Had sex first time with bf recently but didn’t went well, he’s passive abt it and confessed didn’t feel good coz of condoms and desensitised dick, now I’m having trust and confidence issues and don’t know how to face him.
2 comments
they make spermacide inserts. they don’t do anything for stds but you don’t need condoms if it’s just pregnancies you are worried about .
How much your vagina opens to penitrate depends on the woman. All you can do is give a try to a different position. Regarding the condom issue, for me, always pulling out works and it never gets my partner pregent.