I (22f) betrayed my bf (23m) of 10 years.
As the title says, I betrayed my boyfriend of 10 years, we started to date young and quickly things got weird, he asked me to dress modestly, not showing any skin of my body and I agreed to that part as I was comfortable enough about dressing like that.
But, he was addicted to porn, he had multiple fake accounts of reddit, Facebook, tango, telegram, Instagram and he was joined in all sort of sex group chats, where people shared other girls nudes, and he was obsessed with collecting them, I told him several times that how much it hurts me, but he tried to normalize it by telling its very normal for guys to do it. To get his attention I started to give him my nudes, 1000s of them, I was very enthusiastic while giving them, going all the way out with different positions and dresses to look as sexy as possible, but never once he compliment me or showed much interest.
Point two, he never, I repeat never ever compliments me. I dressed up so much for him, he never once said to me “You look beautiful” and I’ve mentioned to him this multiple times, but it never worked. Point to be noted he used to compliment naked celebrities and used to tell me they’re hot and all. I yearned for his compliment so much, all these years I just wanted to feel physically beautiful by him, but all he mentioned was which part of me was unattractive.
Point 3, I love animals, I have 5 cats which i love more than anything, and he hates that. He set a boundary that my cat can’t sleep in my bed with me, my cat can’t be in the same room while i change my clothes, and even though it bothered me I agreed to stay with him cause I was in love with him. Also I loved dolls, like teddy bears and stuffs and I loved to sleep with them, it was banned from our relationship too.
I started to walk in eggshell around him, whatever I did it seemed like I got scolded by him.
And then, I betrayed him. I started to dress like I wanted, go out with my cousins dressing up in gowns and cute tops to feel attractive, I started craving compliment so much that I started to hang out with my cousins and friends very frequently without him knowing it, he had his doubts but I denied.
Until recently I was caught by him, he saw my pictures on my cousins Facebook and he got so furious he came my home, when he came my home I was outside wearing a t shirt and jeans, which made him more furious to which he slapped me. And families got to know about this situation and we broke up.
Now the thing is, he still wants me, but I have to dress modestly, I don’t want to go back but I miss him. I don’t know what to do.
The writing must be messy I’m sorry, but I explained things as much as I could.
7 comments
The thing to do is not get back together with him. He is abusive and controlling and doesn’t love you. He likes the idea of having something to control. It will be painful since you’ve been together so long, but you’ll look back and feel better about your life without him in the future. Wear whatever you want to. No one controls you.
Yeah you need to stay away from that man.
This doesn’t seem to be a healthy relationship for you, I wouldn’t get back with him.
The only phone number I’d call is 911. Telling you guys expectations is one thing, trying to enforce them by hitting you is another.
You should block him and never speak to him again. The controlling shit is bad enough, but then he hit you. There is no recovering from that, your future with him will be filled with abuse.
Sum wrong with dude you needa leave him asap
As much as you miss him, you HAVE TO stay away as this sounds like the start of an abusive relationship. The right person for you will come in due time.