I (19 M) had a friend in secondary school and I asked her out at the end of 2019. I got rejected, which I was sad about for a bit but she did suggest that we could still be friends. Call this girl ‘Person X’.
At the time I was used Reddit a lot and posted the question ‘Should I stay friends after getting rejected?’ on a few subreddits. Approximately 90% of the responses were firmly ‘No’, ‘don’t bother’, ‘go find someone else’ etc. I asked my parents the same, my mum said ‘No’ and my dad said ‘Yes’. I did want to stay friends but most guys on Reddit were telling me not to. That’s how democracy works, the will of the majority trumps the minority, a bit like with Brexit unfortunately.
So I then just started ignoring her.
Fast forward to 5 September 2022 when I’m heading home from work. My usual bus broke down so I had to take the other bus home which was a different route. The bus passed through a row of terraced housing in Glasgow and it was annoying me why these houses were so familiar. I then realised that I’ve passed Person X’s house on the journey. I kind of had some weird epiphany on Monday when I passed her house and want to start the friendship again, 32 months later. Do you think it’s possible? If so, how do I go about it.
P.S. I have autism and one of its traits is that I can see inanimate objects and associate that object with something else. For example, I can associate houses with the people who live there.
4 comments
If she’s still fine with it, go do it! 😀
Friend zone is NO NO. Point is you tryed to do bigger move from allready friend zone to relationship zone and you got rejected – after this you are not gonna stay friends like real friends. Its a psychological slap down, you will be always that rejected guy. After firs t dissagreement or fight with her she will talk to friends how you hooked on her and she turned down you bla bla bla. And its not good for your self esteem, take rejection like man, but dont fall like pussy after this to friends zone. And your epiphany is in your head not hers- her epiphany is 32 months without you. “You cannot ride far on a dead horse”
I really wouldn’t bother. Most of the time “I just want to be friends” is a way of softening rejection. It is usually not to be taken literally. Unless you guys were already friends, before you decided you wanted to pursue her, then she might want to remain friends. But 9/10 times it just means: “I don’t want to see you anymore”.
I’d step back and take a wider view. You saw a house and it reminded you of the person. That’s all that happened. You say you blocked this person on social media. If they didn’t notice, that’s one thing. But wouldn’t that seem creepy and weird to suddenly reflow them and show up and contact them?
At best, you might be able to send them a message. But again, do you really expect to get a response? And if you do, out of politeness it will be short.
If you run into the person and they engage you in a conversation, that would be one thing.
I’d sit on this whole idea for a few weeks or months. It might just be you need to cool down.