Porn with a twist. (Might as well “beat it” to death)

11 comments

1. My spouse and I are fine with both in our marriage.

2. Erotic novels and porn are different things. So man watching porn = woman watching porn. Man reading erotic novels = woman reading erotic novels. But porn does not equal erotic novel. I’m not saying one is better or should be allowed while the other shouldn’t, just that they’re not an equivalent medium (or we wouldn’t say things like watching the movie isn’t the same as reading the book). There’s also the whole issue of the porn industry as a whole and the exploitation of porn actors/actresses that isn’t part of erotica because aside from the author, there aren’t any real people involved.

   We don’t have “rules” about either, but as a person who has consumed both forms of media, they’re not the same.

   If one’s spouse says that the other can’t watch porn but also can’t read erotica even though they do, *that* would be hypocritical. But if they’re okay with their partner also reading erotica, it’s not. It’s apples and oranges. They’re both fruit, but their not the same fruit.

3. One involves the exploitation of people, most often young women, for graphic display and the other is the thoughts of one author writing something entirely pretend.

   I personally prefer neither but find far less morally wrong with the latter.

4. I think the main difference is that many women think guys are comparing bodies, and they feel self conscious.

   And perhaps women/readers are thinking of the acts and characters they read about… so that could leave men feeling compared. Books can really make things visual and emotional
   and stay in your head.

   But I think women tend to react and feel more strongly, that’s why you rarely hear guys complaining l. I’m trying not to generalize, it’s just what i see on this board.

   I personally don’t care about either. It’s interesting to get new ideas and use whatever as fuel as long as you don’t depend on it or let it replace your time with your partner. I don’t compare looks at all.

5. I am so dissappointed with this post. Not ONE person made refence to my pun title.

   I am not mad, just… dissapointed

6. They are the same. Both are used for a specific purpose. Men typically enjoy visual stimulation. Women (just going to generalize for the sake of the topic) seem to prefer the opportunity to use their imagination a little bit more. Books provide that as it’s easier to visualize different people and locations while book leads the events. A lot of people want to try to justify their dislike for porn as being defensive for the women abused in the industry. By that rationale, those people would feel fine with their partner watching porn if they knew everyone involved in a production enjoyed their job and were not being coerced into it?

7. From my own limited understanding, I think the response is different. When a man watches porn he is literally replacing his wife with another woman in his mind. I don’t think women do that with spicy novels. I think they do fantasize about the male character, but when they come back to the real world they transfer that attraction to their real life partner. Women are much better at that then men are.

8. The difference is pretty blatant. I have never heard of a woman ignoring her husband over a spicy novel. Men ignore their wife for porn all of the time. In fact it is the number one complaint among partners of porn addicts.

   If anything, I think that a woman who reads an erotic novel in bed will wake her husband up in the middle night so that she can have sex with him.

9. There are two completely different things. You can’t compare them really.

10. One is about being disappointed in your partner’s body. The other is about being disappointed in your partner as an entire person.

11. I guess that really depends on your definition of porn. =)