My (22F) boyfriend (22M) have been dating for 3.5 years. Our relationship started off as a FWB kind of thing but slowly became more serious. We’ve had a lot of fun adventures together and are excited for more. Recently, my sister and my best friend just started dating some really awesome people.
As someone who is close to both of them, I hear a lot of details about how much effort they put into the relationship (good morning texts, surprise dates,etc.)…and while I’m happy for them, I’m also slightly jealous because my partner hasn’t done anything like that in a while. I’ll admit we’re both incredibly stressed right now but it feels like I’ve tried to plan things and he hasn’t reciprocated.
The physical aspect of our relationship has also felt kind of different because I’m always initiating sex or teasing him, and I feel like he doesn’t find me attractive anymore. (I’ve asked him if he does, and he always says yes).
TL;DR – I miss the little exciting things in our relationship along with the fun sex and I don’t know if we’re falling out of love or if we’re just “comfortable enough” with one another. What do I do?
2 comments
This is something you need to convey to him. Literally everything you said. I don’t text my girl good morning or anything, but I tel her good night and we plan our dates ahead of time. We’ve been together for 3 years and we are stronger today than ever, but only because we both put effort into what we want and make compromises when there’s a need. Therapy in a general sense is always an amazing option I’m putting me and mine into individual sessions just in case we have things we need to realize and fix for each other
have you tried telling him exactly this? How long has this been going on? Sometimes relationships just go through dry patches, you guys love each other but you’re stressed, you’re mentally not doing that well, and it’s hard to put the same effort into things you usually enjoy.
When that happens with my girlfriend, we say we’re losing our connection, and sometimes you just need to take a step back and ask yourself what’s wrong and what you can do together.
Also, any couple can benefit from couples therapy, you don’t have to be on the verge of breaking up, it can help bring you guys closer together and avoid future problems 🙂