If you didn’t have the strong urge to mate, and the fear of being alone, how would you live/have lived your life differently?

22 comments

1. For me, I would have continued with an unbelievably simple life. Renting a tiny apartment, driving my 20-year-old car, wearing old but comfortable clothes, and just working the two or three days a week I needed to pay for all of that. And using all the free time I had beyond that for the simple things I enjoyed, playing chess, drinking coffee with a friend, reading books, gym Etc

2. My life would be pretty similar to how it is now tbh. Career, gym, hobbies.

3. Who says I have a strong urge to mate and fear of being alone? I’m pretty happy with how my life goes, sure it’s sometimes lonely, but then I just turn on a movie and forget it.

4. Well i wouldn’t have fallen in love so the way my life has been so far, i would be happier and healthier, and probably less psychologically complex s as i would have less trauma

5. Only difference for me would be more peace of mind. My real problem is how to prevent being lonely and sexless from shortening my life (including things like dementia).

6. Twice divorced with three children

   My “strong urge” to mate has been fulfilled. It’s kinda like permanent post-nut clarity. And I am grateful for it!

   Now single again…all those bucket list items I sacrificed for the sake of relationships are triumphantly back on the table – and outside of my children, all I care about now is checking them off!

   I want to hike in the Himalayas, camp in the African savannah, fish in the Amazon river, run with the bulls in Spain, take a cruise down the Nile…and finish with a boat in Mexico on the Sea of Cortez

   That’s a lot of cool shit that I once gave up any hope for. There is no woman alive worth giving all that up again.

   That is the second half of my life, and I am totally ok with doing it alone so I don’t have to cater to anyone else’s needs or listen to their endless complaints.

   Free at last! 🙏

7. I don’t fear being alone and my desire for sex isn’t strong enough to change my life for.

8. I mean…. A lot less heartbreak. But my fear of being alone is what stops me from from indulging my desire to mate.

   My sexual desire wants me to fuck every unattended woman I see from 18 to 40 and plenty would be happy to take me up on it.

   My fear of being alone keeps me loyal because fucking randos is how you never find a real relationship with a stable person. Once you find a sane one you can respect, you stick it out to see where it goes.

   If I was an asexual who didn’t need company, I’d probably play more video games and get into Warhammer.

9. I’m sorry to say this but I don’t have such urges or fears.

   I’ve lived alone without long term relationships and I don’t have such urges or fears. I eat, sleep, shit and work just the same as any other normal person. I spend my free time enjoying myself.

   More often than not people make me unhappy than happy, so there is no point in committing into relationships just because of “fear”. Needs can be met without having to tolerate sharing living space with another person whom you don’t necessarily want to see everyday.

10. I don’t have an urge to mate, I have a need for a sexual relationship. Never wanted kids

    If I were asexual I’d probably be in a better place than I am now, with a much healthier mindset

11. I never feared being alone. That would be a terrible reason to get together with someone.

    You alright, over there?

12. I have zero urges to mate, in fact I’m hoping for a vasectomy soon, and zero fear of being alone. I was married once, and dated a fair bit afterwards, but have been single 4 years now, and I live quite differently than when I was in relationships. I do what I want when I want, total freedom, and give zero fucks about what anyone else thinks about me. I want something, I work hard for it and go get it, instead of asking someone else what they think. I don’t need to dress to impress so to speak, so I don’t care what I look like to others or how others perceive me. It’s pretty damn great!

13. Pretty much how I’m living now. My strong urge to mate is starting to lessen as I get older but the memories of all the annoying stuff that went with the very few good things keeps my libido in check.

    I’ve never feared being alone.

14. Risk aversion set to “off”.

15. I dont have either. I just want to enjoy my life in the outdoors and hang out with friends. If I find someone who is similar then they can join along if they want. If I don’t oh well. Not going to make my life worse over being horny.

16. Well I already have little luck combating those two issues so I’d live a similar life, just with more confidence and less time and effort wasted on fruitless attempts to date or meet people.

17. I’d probably still want a life partner. I’d still have strong need for romance and companionship

18. Just ask what any divorced guy with kids over 40 is doing basically.

19. Without a fear of being alone? I think I’d have been out living in the woods in a shack, and also probably dead by now.

20. Not any differently, I would just be happier.

21. Being alone can be extremely difficult. Social isolation can almost feel painful, but there’s a simple honest pleasure in learning to love yourself. I think it’s important to remove yourself from those dating expectations for a time and really just live for yourself. Both lifestyles have their challenges and strengths.

    For instance, what do I want to accomplish in my life now that I’m single with no prospects? Well I want to go to grad school and I have to complete my first ironman. I can fully commit to those goals and see what I’m truly capable of accomplishing.

22. I don’t have either of these? Don’t really want kids not afraid of being alone. Still have a wonderful partner and a good life.